Tonight,my road to recovery continues onward,though still a rough and rocky one.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I woke up in the mid morning and I bathed.After my bath,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After that,I did my personal PC work and I got dressed.I proceeded to get on with the rest of my day.I had only a couple of things planned.
I first went to the local Dollar Tree store to pick up something for snacking.After that,I went to the nearby supermarket to pick up something else that was needed.After paying for those items,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I relaxed and popped a DVD in the DVD player.I also did some recommended Holy Bible reading.
After eating,I watched the evening news for a while and I did some more personal PC work.Overall,a pretty good day.
Though my recovery continues,it is still a very rough and rocky road that I walk on.I have to continually put up with the emotional roller coaster ride that goes with the territory of having BPD.It is always a crushing and stressful thing to put up with.I never know how my mood will be from one day to the next.It is a constant ride that never seems to end.Aside from that,I also have to put up with the schizophrenic tendencies that I have alongside the BPD.It also doesn't make my SSA struggles any easier.I will still continue to attend my therapy sessions.I will also continue to take my medication as directed.I am hoping that one of these days,my recovery will start to improve and I will start feeling good for a while.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I was again tempted to masturbate in the wee early morning hours when I was awakened by another erection.This temptation was really overwhelming and I really had to use all of my strength to resist this temptation.I really had the urge to grab my genitals and simply masturbate them,but I resisted.I simply got up to go to the bathroom and while on the way there,the erection died down.After using the bathroom,I went back to sleep.Though I escaped this episode,I have to continually keep in mind that the temptation to act out can rear it's ugly head when least expected.I am still getting tempted to go out and seek male partners for the purpose of acting out with them,but I simply stay home when that temptation happens and I willfully refuse to satisfy or feed that temptation.I still have to keep in mind that acting out on these unnatural desires that I have will never give me what I truly need and want,which is affirmation of my gender identity and the feelings of authenticity that go with that affirmation.I also have to keep in mind that God never intended for sexuality to be used in the way that the world is using it for.Again,I am still asking for any help in how to resist these temptations.I seek advice and/or suggestions as to what has worked for you.I see that my blog posts get many viewings,but nobody leaves anything.Please leave an encouraging comment or two or something that can and will help me.Thanks in advance for doing so.
As for tomorrow,I have made no plans.But whatever I do,I hope that it gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes for the day ahead.FJ