Tonight,my road to recovery continues to move forward,despite the road being rocky.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I got up in the mid morning and I bathed.After my bath,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I did my personal PC work and I got dressed as I had a few things planned for today and I wanted to get them done.
I first attended my usual Monday online recovery resources group and since I missed it last week due to battling the common cold,I was looking forward to this meeting with a lot of positive anticipation and enthusiasm.I headed over there hoping to get quite a bit out of it.
The meeting went great.After the meeting,I headed for home.
On the way home,I stopped at a local convenience store to pick up a couple of things and after paying for them,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I simply relaxed and took it easy for a while.
After eating,I watched the evening news for a while and I did some more personal PC work.Overall,a pretty good day.
While my recovery continues to move forward,I am still on that rough and rocky road.Then again,I have BPD and the road to recovery is never easy.I have to continually put up with the emotional roller coaster ride that goes with the territory of having BPD and it really is a tough one.I don't know if I will be up or if I will be down.It sometimes happens all in the same day.Aside from that,I also have schizophrenic tendencies alongside the BPD and that makes it even more difficult and even makes my SSA struggles even more difficult.I will still continue my therapy sessions and continue taking my medication as directed.I am hoping that my recovery will start improving and I will start feeling good for quite a while instead of always being on this emotional roller coaster ride.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I was again tempted to masturbate in the wee early morning hours when I was awakened by an erection.While it wasn't as stiff as the previous ones nor did it throb as much,it was still a very overwhelming temptation.I had to fight this temptation as it was really tough as I was still feeling sleepy and tired.I started to get up and when I did,that is when the erection died down and after using the bathroom,I went back to sleep.Though I escaped this episode,I still have to keep in mind that the temptation to act out on these unnatural desires that I have can rear it's ugly head when least expected.I really need some help here everyone.I am still continuing to be tempted to act out on these unnatural desires that I have and I don't want to.I still get tempted to go out and seek other men for the purpose of indulging in sinful and unnatural sexual with them,but as I have said previously,I choose to stay home and not feed nor satisfy that particular temptation as it will never give me what I want or so desperately need.The temptation to act out,no matter what form it is,can be very powerful and overwhelming.I am stil desperately seeking advice and/or suggestions as to how I can continue to stay strong when the temptation to act out on these unnatural desires rears it's ugly head.Please help me everyone as I am really desperate here.Many of you visit and read the posts,but nobody comments or leaves anything encouraging.Thanks in advance for anything offered.
As for tomorrow,I have made no plans.But whatever I choose to do,I hope that it gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes for the day ahead.FJ