Tonight,my road to recovery continues,though the road is still a rough and rocky one.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I woke up in mid morning and I bathed.After my bath,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I got dressed and proceeded to get on with the rest of the day.
I had only a couple of things on my agenda.I first went to a friend of mom's house to pick up something for my mom and after that was done,I headed to the local Super Wal-Mart to pick up a couple of things for my mom.After paying for those,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I relaxed and popped a DVD in the DVD player.
After eating,I watched the evening news for a while and I also did some more personal PC work.Overall,a pretty good day.
My road to recovery continues to move forward,although the road is still a rough and rocky one at times.It goes with the territory of having BPD.I am always on an emotional roller coaster ride where one day I might be up and feeling good while the next day,down and feeling not so good.Sometimes,it happens all on the same day.Aside from BPD,I also have to put up with the schizophrenic tendencies that I have as well and that makes my struggles with BPD and SSA even more difficult.I am still continuing my therapy sessions and I am continuing to take my medication as directed.I am hoping that one of these days,my recovery will improve and I will feel better for quite a while rather than this constant emotional roller coaster ride.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I was again tempted to masturbate in the wee early morning hours when I was awakened yet again by another erection.It was also another throbbing erection.I had to really fight this overwhelming temptation to masturbate this erection away.I simply got up and walked for a bit and used the bathroom and while doing that,the erection died down.I simply went back to sleep after that.Though I escaped this episode,I still have to keep in mind that the temptation to act out on these unnatural desires that I have can rear it's ugly head when least expected.It can come in any form.I still get tempted to go out and seek out other men for the purpose of indulging in sexual activity with them,but as I have said previously,I choose to stay home rather than feed or satisfy that temptation.Acting out on these unnatural desires that I have,no matter form of acting out it is,will never give me the fulfillment that I so desperately need and want.It also won't affirm my gender identity nor make me feel authentic.Acting out,no matter what form it is,will only reinforce the Homosexual identity,which is the identity that I am trying to escape and distance myself from.Again,I am appealing to those who do stop by my blog to read what I have posted.Please post some words of encouragement to me and also,anything that can help give me strength to continually resist the temptation to act out on thee unnatural desires that I have.I would really appreciate anything given.Thanks in advance.
As for tomorrow,I have made no plans.But whatever I do,I hope that it gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes for the day ahead.FJ