Tonight,my road to recovery continues to move forward.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I woke up in the mid morning and I bathed.After my bath,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I did my personal PC work and I got dressed to proceed with the rest of my day.
I first went to my building and improving self esteem group as I usually look forward to this each and every week.I headed over there with a lot of enthusiasm.
The group was wonderful.After the meeting,I headed over to a local supermarket to pick up a couple of things and after that,I headed over to the bank to withdraw some money and after that was done,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I registered all the money at the Where's George site and I relaxed while watching a DVD that I popped in the DVD player.
After eating,I watched the evening news for a while and I did some more personal PC work.Overall,a pretty good day.
While my recovery continues to move forward,I am still,on a daily basis,dealing and struggling with the symptoms of BPD and the emotional roller coaster ride that goes with it.I also have schizophrenic tendencies,which makes the struggle with BPD even more difficult.I still have my ups and downs and I try to deal with this on a one day at a time basis and all,but it is usually a very difficult thing to deal with.I am still attending my therapy sessions and I am still taking my medication as directed.I am also still relying on God and his son Jesus Christ more to handle this.When the struggle seems a little too unbearable to manage,I simply ask God and his son Jesus Christ to help me through the daily struggle and I do feel a little bit better.The struggle with BPD and schizophrenic tendencies is never an easy struggle,but with the help of God and Christ,it is only a tad easier.Thanks to both God and Christ for helping me and being there.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I was again tempted to masturbate in the wee early morning hours when I was awakened out of a deep sleep by yet another erection.This was yet another overwhelming urge and I really had to use everything that I had to fight and resist this temptation.I did turn to God and asked him for strength to resist this temptation and as I prayed,the erection softened and after that,as usual,I had to get up and use the bathroom as the erection died down as I was heading there.When I was finished,I simply went back to sleep.Though I did escape this episode,the temptation to act out on these unnatural desires that I have,no matter what form of acting out it might be,can rear it's ugly head when least expected.Like early this morning,I simply rely on God and his son Jesus Christ to get me through any temptation.I simply take it to them in prayer and after that,the temptation is reduced to nil after I put it in their hands.I feel better and I can move along with the rest of the day and if it happens again before the day is through,I simply turn to both God and Christ again and I feel batter after doing so.Thanks again to both God and Christ for being there and that I don't have to struggle alone as they are there to help me whenever I ask for it.Thanks again to both God and Christ.
As for tomorrow,I have made no plans.But whatever I choose to do,I hope that it gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes for the day ahead.FJ