Tonight,my road to recovery continues to go forward.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I woke up in the early morning and I bathed.After my bath,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I did my personal PC work and I got dressed to proceed with the rest of the day as I had only a few things planned.
I really didn't have too much to do today.I simply went out to run a few errands that needed to be run.I was out for only a few hours today.I went to a local supermarket to pick up a few things and after that,I headed over to the local Super Wal-Mart to pick up a few more things.After paying for those items,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I relaxed and watched a little TV.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading in as well.
After eating,I watched the evening news for a while and I did some more personal PC work.Overall,a pretty good day.
While my recovery continues to go forward,I am still,on a one day at a time basis,dealing and struggling with the symptoms of BPD and the emotional roller coaster ride that goes with it.I never know how my mood will be from one day to the next,or,from one minute to the next.It is a never ending unpredictable cycle.I also have schizophrenic tendencies and that makes it even more difficult.I am still attending my therapy sessions and I am still taking my medication as directed.I am still relying on both God and his son Jesus Christ more whenever the struggle seems to be getting way too unbearable.I simply take it to God in the name of his son Jesus Christ and after that,I feel a little bit better.It is simply a matter of talking about the struggle with God and asking him in the name of his son Christ Jesus to aid and abet in the recovery.Thanks to both God and Christ for everything that they do.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I was again tempted to masturbate in the wee early morning hours when I was awakened by yet another throbbing erection.It was a really overwhelming urge that I had to give into this temptation.I had to really use all the strength that I had to resist this temptation.I had to get up and sit up for a while and I did that,the erection softened and I used the bathroom,which I had to do,before going back to sleep.Though I escaped this episode,I still have to keep in mind that the temptations to act out on these unnatural desires that I have,which can take any form,can rear their ugly heads when least expected.I never know when they are about to strike.I am always in a fight to resist the temptations to act out on these desires that I have.I am also still in the fight to resist the temptation to manipulate my genitals for the purpose of getting them erect or near erect for the purpose of masturbating or to make myself have an orgasm and yes,there is usually some lusting after other men involved with this,though other times,it can be an emotional thing.Whenever I give into that particular temptation,I simply ask God in the name of his son Jesus Christ to forgive me.I am still relying on both God and his son Jesus Christ whenever the struggle seems to be getting too unbearable to handle or endure and I ask them for help in giving me strength to resist.After that,the temptation is reduced to nil.But I'm also in need of prayers by others to help me in my resistance regarding the temptation to manipulate my genitals for the purpose of getting them erect for masturbation or to bring myself to orgasm and stop.This temptation has been a real drag for me as I don't want to do that unclean thing anymore.If anyone can offer some helpful as well as spiritual advice in how I can resist the temptation to "play with myself", please share as I am open to anything to help me stop this unclean activity.I will keep praying to both God and his son Christ Jesus in the long run and again,prayers and advice are always appreciated.Thanks in advance for anything offered and also,Thanks again to both God and his Jesus Christ for being there to show that I am not alone in my struggle.
As for the weekend,with the exception of church on Sunday,I have no plans.But I am hoping that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes and plans for the weekend ahead.FJ