Tonight,my road to recovery continues onward.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I woke up in the mid morning and I bathed.After my bath,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I did my personal PC work and I got dressed to proceed with the rest of my day.
I first went to my building and improving self esteem group.I was looking forward to this group with a lot of positive anticipation and enthusiasm.I headed over there.
The meeting was wonderful.After meeting with someone privately at the group's offices,I headed for home.
On the way home,I stopped at a local 7-Eleven to buy a hot dog for lunch and after I ate it,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I simply relaxed and took it easy for a while.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading in as well.
After eating,I watched the evening news for a while and I did some more personal PC work.Overall,a pretty good day.
While my recovery continues onward,I am still,on a one day at time basis,dealing and struggling with the symptoms of BPD and the emotional roller coaster ride that goes with the territory of having this.I never know how my mood will be from one day to the next,or,from one minute to the next.I also have schizophrenic tendencies and that makes my struggles with BPD even more difficult.I am still attending my therapy sessions.I am also still taking my medication as directed.I am still relying on God and his son Jesus Christ more than on human therapy.They have powers that exceed anything by humans.Whenever the struggle seems to be getting too unbearable or seemingly too impossible to endure,I simply take it to both God and Christ and they help sustain me.It is just a matter of throwing it on God and have his son Jesus Christ work alongside him to help in the sustaining.Admittedly,battling BPD,alongside the schizophrenic tendencies that I have,is not easy,but with God and Christ,it does make it a tad easier.Thanks to both God and Christ for everything that they do.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I was again tempted to masturbate in the wee early morning hours when I was awakened by yet another throbbing erection.This really was an overwhelming temptation and the erection was really a throbbing one at that.This was a very difficult temptation to resist and this time,I had to take it to God in prayer to help give me the strength to resist this overwhelming urge.I also had to get up and use the bathroom and after I was finished,the erection died down and I simply went back to sleep after I was finished.Though I escaped this episode,I still have to keep in mind that the temptation to act out on these unnatural desires that I have,no matter what form it might take,can rear it's ugly head when least expected.I am always at war with the unnatural desires that I have and the war is usually a seemingly and very unbearable one at that.It seems to get tougher no matter how much I resist any temptation that tries to envelope me.I also,at times,get tempted to manipulate my genitals for the purpose of getting them erect or near erect for the purpose of masturbation and most of the time,lusting does play a role in that.When this happens,I simply turn to both God and his son Jesus Christ.I simply throw the temptation on God and ask in his son Christ Jesus' name to help me in my resistance and after that,the temptation is reduced to nil.It is simply a matter of throwing it on God and ask him to help me to gain victory over my inherent weaknesses due to the fall from perfection and again,the temptation is reduced to nil.If it ever happens that I do give into the temptation,I simply ask God to forgive in the name of his son Jesus Christ's names and after that,the slate is wiped clean and is forgotten by God as God does forgive whenever anyone,like myself,gives into any temptations.Thanks to both God and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and for being there whenever the SSA struggles seems to be getting too unbearable or impossible.Thanks again to them both.
Tomorrow,I have plans to go to the post office to mail out some bills and also,to withdraw some much needed money for the bank.As for the rest of the day,I have no other plans.But whatever I choose to do,I hope that it gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes and plans for the day ahead.FJ