Tonight,my road to recovery continues to go forward.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I woke up in the mid morning and I bathed.After my bath,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I did my personal PC work and I got dressed to proceed with the rest of the day.
I had some stuff that I needed to do.I first had to meet with my sister's lawyer to discuss some legal issues regarding the house we live in and other things.The meeting with the lawyer lasted a little over 20 minutes and after the meeting was done,I headed out to run some errands that needed to be run.
I first went to the local Super Wal-Mart to pick up a few more things that were needed and after I paid for those,I also had to pick up a couple of things for myself.After paying for those,I headed for home.
On the way home,I stopped to check on a friend that I hadn't spoken to in quite a while to see how they were doing.After spending a few minutes with him,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I put all the groceries away and I relaxed while making some time to do some recommended Holy Bible reading.
After eating,I watched the evening news for a while and I did some more personal PC work.Overall,a pretty good day.
While my road to recovery continues to go forward,I am still,on a daily basis,dealing and struggling with the symptoms of BPD and the emotional roller coaster ride that goes with it.I never know how my mood will be from one day to the next,or at times,from one minute to the next.It is always a struggle and it's never and easy one.I also have schizophrenic tendencies and that makes my BPD struggles even more difficult.Whenever it seems to be getting too unbearable,I turn to both God and his son Jesus Christ and they help sustain me.It is never an easy struggle,but I do feel a tad better whenever it is God's hands.It is simply a matter of taking it both God and Christ and talking about it and feeling better once I do that.It shows that I am not alone in my struggle and that is great.Thanks to both God and Christ for everything that they do.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I was again tempted to masturbate in the wee early morning hours when I was awakened by yet another throbbing erection.Again,I had to really use all of my strength to resist this temptation.I really wanted to grab my genitals and simply make myself ejaculate.But instead,I simply chose to sit up and sat up for a while until the erection died down and after it did die down,I went back to sleep.Though I escaped this episode,I still have to keep in mind that these temptations to act out on these unnatural desires that I have,which can take any type of form,can rear their ugly heads when least expected.I am always in a fight against these unnatural desires.It seems that these desires won't let up until I decide to surrender to them and give up the fight and simply live my life in sin rather than do what I know is the right thing to do.But I can't let that happen.I have to make it so that I own the unnatural desires and not them owning me.I will not give Satan what he wants.He wants me to indulge in all the sinful sexual activity that the so called "Homosexual/Gay" lifestyle offers and that is not what I want to do,but these unnatural desires that I have,which are connected to and borne out of Satan,want me to do so.I am still getting tempted to manipulate my genitals for the purpose of getting them erect or near erect for the purpose of masturbation or to simply bring myself to orgasm and stop.I am still turning to God and his son Jesus Christ whenever the struggle seems to be getting too unbearable to handle or when it is border-lining on seemingly impossible.I simply throw the temptation on God and ask him in the name of his son Jesus Christ to strengthen me and after that,the temptation is reduced to nil.If I do give into any temptation,I simply ask God to forgive me in his son Jesus Christ's name to forgive and after that,my sin is forgotten by God.I am also still asking for prayers by everyone who visits this blog of mine.I see that people visit my blog and read,but they don't leave anything.I am always asking for some encouraging and/or supporting words to help keep me going.Please share a word or two and also,keep me in your prayers.Thanks.Thanks also to both both God and his son Jesus Christ for all their help and strength.
Tomorrow,it will be church as usual and the Holy Bible study class an hour and a half before the worship service.As for the rest of the day,I have made no plans.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes and plans for the day ahead.FJ