Tonight,my road to recovery continues to go forward.I had a very good and eventful day today.
Today,I woke up in the early morning and I bathed.After my bath,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I got dressed up in a suit to head over to the church for both the Holy Bible study class and the worship service afterwards.
Both the class and worship service were wonderful.After some wonderful fellowship with the other members,I headed straight home.
I had to hurry home to sign some legal papers with a lawyer and after that was done,I got out out of my suit and into some casual clothes and headed back out again.There was a charity chicken barbecue at the fire hall across from church and I headed over there for a chicken lunch and also,to help benefit the church.
I had a wonderful lunch with the people and after talking with some of them,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I relaxed and I did my personal PC work.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading in as well.
After eating,I watched the evening news for a while and I also did some more personal PC work.Overall,a very good and eventful day.For me,going to church makes the day eventful.
While my recovery continues to go forward,I am still,on a daily basis,dealing and struggling with the symptoms of BPD and the emotional roller coaster ride that goes with it.I never know how my mood will be from one day to the next,or,from one minute to the next.It is just a non-stop ride that never seems to want to end.I also have schizophrenic tendencies and that my BPF struggles even more difficult.At times,I never know if I am coming or going.But when the struggle seems to be getting too unbearable,I simply talk about it with God and his son Jesus Christ and after a while,I feel only a little bit better.The struggle with having BPD and schizophrenia at the same time is never an easy one.It is a very difficult thing to deal with.But with the help of God and his son Christ Jesus,it makes it only a tad easier.It is simply a matter of talking about the struggle with God in the name of his some Jesus Christ and they both help to sustain me.It shows that I am not alone in my struggles with these mental disorders.Thanks to both God and Jesus for everything that they do.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I was again tempted to masturbate in the wee early morning hours when I was awakened by yet another throbbing erection.I really had to use all of my strength to fight and resist this temptation as it was yet another overwhelming one.I simply sat up and sat for a while until the erection died down and also,I had to use the bathroom.After finishing,I laid back down and went back to sleep.Though I escaped this episode,I have to continually keep in mind that these temptations to act out on these unnatural desires that I have,no matter what form they take or can be,can rear their ugly heads when least expected.I am always in a war to fight and resist all of these temptations.I also still get tempted to manipulate my genitals for the purpose of getting them erect or near erect for masturbation or to reach orgasm and quit.I am always at war with these unnatural desires that I have.I am also still relying on both God and his son Jesus Christ more whenever the struggle seems to be getting way too unbearable.I simply take it to God and I throw the temptation on him and after that,the temptation is reduced to nil.It sows that I am not alone in my fight and if I ever were to give into any temptation,I simply ask God to forgive me in the name of his son Jesus Christ and after that,God forgets the sin and I can move on.It is great that our Heavenly Father is a very loving God and that his son is also a very loving savior and all.Thanks to both God and Christ for everything that they do.
Tomorrow,I have a building and improving self esteem group meeting that I need to attend.As for the rest of the day,I have made no plans.But whatever I do,I hope that it gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes and plans for the day ahead.FJ