Tonight,my road to recovery continues to go forward.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I woke up in the mid morning,despite some complications,and I bathed.After my bath,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I got dressed to do some important things that needed to be done because I had to keep an eye on my mom for the rest of the day as my sister and niece had some stuff to do.
For most of the afternoon,I did my personal PC work and I also had myself a light lunch of a bowl of soup.After lunch,I decided to simply take it easy while watching my mom and helping her when she needed it.
My mom really needed all the help that she could get from me for much of the day and I was glad to oblige.I did manage to get some recommended Holy Bible reading is as well, while doing what I could for my mom.It is requiring an awful lot and believe me,it is a wonder that I haven't cracked under the pressure.
After eating a light dinner,I watched the evening news for a while and I also managed to get some more personal PC work in.Overall,a pretty good day.
While my recovery continues to go forward,I am still,on a daily basis,dealing and struggling with the symptoms of BPD and the emotional roller coaster ride that goes with the territory of having BPD.I never know how my mood will be from day to day,or,from one minute to the next.I also have schizophrenic tendencies and that makes my BPD struggles even more difficult as I have to put up with hearing sounds and noises that nobody else hears,except me.I am still attending my therapy sessions.I am also still taking my medication as directed.I am still relying on both God and his son Jesus Christ more than on any human devices,such as medication or therapy.God and his son Jesus Christ collectively have power greater than any human power.I simply take it to them and they help in sustaining me.It also shows that I am not alone in my struggle with BPD and the schizophrenic tendencies and that it great.Thanks to both God and Christ for everything.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I was again tempted to masturbate in the wee early morning hours when I was awakened by yet another throbbing erection.This temptation was a really overwhelming one.I really had to use all of my strength to fight and resist this temptation.I simply sat up and I stayed sitting up until the erection had died down.I simply went back to sleep afterwards.Though I escaped this episode,I still have to keep in mind that the temptation to act out on these unnatural desires that I have,no matter what form it might take,can rear it's ugly head when least expected.I am always at war with these unnatural sexual desires and at times,the war can seem unbearable.There are times that I do feel like giving up,but that is what Satan,the Devil wants me to do,and I am not going to let him have his way with me.I am going to continue fighting these unnatural desires that I have and show the devil that he can't win with me.I am also still calling out to God whenever the struggle seems to be getting too overwhelming or seemingly too unbearable to handle.If and/or when a temptation seems to be getting to strong,overwhelming or seemingly unbearable,I throw the temptation on God in the name of his son Jesus Christ and after that,the temptation is reduced to nil.If I ever do give into any temptation,I simply ask God in the name of his son Jesus Christ to forgive me and after that,the slate is wiped clean and is forgotten by God once he forgives.It shows that I am not alone in my struggle and that makes me feel pretty good.Thanks to both God and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they offer and for getting me through the temptations that go with the territory of the struggles with SSA.
Tomorrow,I have a Men's Network meeting that I must attend.Aside from that,I have no other plans.But I am hoping that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes and plans for the day ahead.FJ