Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving onward.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I woke up in the mid morning and I showered.After my shower,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I got dressed and did my personal PC work.
Today,the weather was rainy and wet.I didn't have too much to do and I chose to simply stay home and take it easy for the rest of the day.I also felt that I needed a much needed break from everything and from all the stress of life.It has been pretty stressful for me as of late,with all of my medical problems and also,the verbal attacks that I have been receiving as a result of defending my Christian faith and trying to show people who claim to be Christian and also at the same time,claim to be supporters of the LGBT agenda,when in reality,nobody can be Christian and support the LGBT agenda at the same time.I have learned that not everybody will accept that hard truth,but in the long run,I am hoping that they will one day see the error of their ways and see that that can't represent Christianity and represent the agenda of the LGBT movement.I learned the hard way that we can only represent one side of the issue or the other.Nobody can represent both as that would be trying to serve two masters and Matthew 6:24 says,in it's own way,that nobody who is a Christian can do that.You can only represent either God's side or the world's side.When someone claims to represent both the side of God and the world's side and claim to be Christian,that is also trying mix light with darkness and also,partaking at the Lord's table and the demon's table at the same time and again,the Holy Bible in it's own way says that Christians can't do that as the scriptures of 1st Corinthians 10:21 and 2nd Corinthians 6:14 demonstrate.Again,only one side of the issue can be represented or the other,not both.I have chosen to represent only God's side and sever all ties that I have with anyone or anything connected with LGBT agenda as that is the only thing that I as a Christian can do and it is also the right thing to do.I hope that what I said here inspires many and leads many others to think about where they really stand and represent as Christians.
After eating,I watched the evening news for a while and I did some more personal PC work.Overall,a pretty good day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving onward,I am still,on a daily basis,dealing and struggling with the symptoms of BPD and it's accompanying emotional roller coaster ride.It never gets any easier at all each and every day.My moods and/or emotions vary by the day,or at times,by the minute/moment within the same day.I also have schizophrenic tendencies and that makes my BPD struggles even more difficult.Aside from the emotional roller coaster ride of BPD,I also have to put up with the hallucinatory effects of schizophrenia at the same time.I am still attending my therapy sessions.I am also continuing to take my medication as directed.I am also still continuing to rely more on God and his son Jesus Christ whenever this particular struggle seems to be getting way too overwhelming for me to handle.I simply talk about this particular struggle with God in the name of his son Jesus Christ and they both help in sustaining me.It also shows that I am never alone in this struggle and with God and Christ Jesus leading the way and helping to sustain me,I do feel a little bit better.Thanks to both God and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I was again tempted to masturbate in the wee early morning hours at two separate intervals when I was awakened by throbbing erections at both those intervals.I tossed and turned at both these intervals and on both,the erections softened and I went back to sleep after both of these.Though I escaped this double whammy,I was still tempted throughout the day to indulge in lusting after men and to fantasize with those lustful sexual images.I was also tempted to manipulate my genitals for the purpose of getting them near/fully erect and/or to the point of orgasm and stopping,though ejaculation has occurred on occasion and also at times,I do get tempted to masturbate the rest of the way.When these things happened,I kept up in prayer to God and I kept asking him in the name of his son Jesus Christ to keep giving me strength to fight and resist all of these terrible temptations.After the setbacks of last week and at the beginning of this week,I am trying to stay as clear away from any sexual desires that are connected with SSA and also,to try and stay strong in resisting all sorts of temptations to get me to indulge in lusting and fantasies with other men,but I also know that I can't do it alone as I need the help of both God and his son Jesus Christ in my fight to resist all sorts of sexual temptations.I still get tempted to go out and seek out other men for the purpose of indulging in sinful sexual activity with them,but I simply as well as willfully choose to stay home rather than feed that particular temptation.I am also again asking that all of you who continually follow my blog to keep up in prayer for me as I am going through this emotionally complex time and also,please don't be shy and leave an encouraging word or two for me in the comments section.My blog gets many visitors and curiosity seekers,but comments are rare.Please share an encouraging word or two for me in the comments section,which can be either something spiritually upbuilding/uplifting or simply some encouragement from anyone who is also in the process of healing from this terrible SSA.Your prayers and your encouraging words both help keep me going in this fight and that also makes me even more determined to continue in my journey to overcome SSA and also to continue in my healing journey from the unwanted and unnatural sexual desires that are connected with SSA.Thanks in advance to all of you for your prayers and your encouraging words.Thanks also to both God and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do.
Tomorrow,I have my usual Thursday morning spirituality group and lunch at a local kitchen after the meeting is over.As for the rest of the day,I have made no plans.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes and plans for the day ahead.FJ