Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving onward.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I woke up in the mid morning and I showered quickly.After my shower,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I did 4/5 of my personal PC work and I got dressed to proceed with the rest of the day as I had a few things planned.
I first went to my usual Thursday morning spirituality group and that went as well as expected.After that was over,I headed over to a local kitchen to have lunch and after having lunch,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I changed into a pair of sweatpants and relaxed for the rest of the day.I also finished my personal PC work.
After eating,I watched the evening news for a while and I did some more personal PC work.Overall,a pretty good day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving onward,I am still,on a one day at a time basis,dealing and struggling with the symptoms of BPD and it's accompanying emotional roller coaster ride.I also have schizophrenic tendencies and that makes my BPD struggles even more difficult.I am still attending my therapy sessions.I am also continuing to take my medication as directed.I am also continuing to rely more on my Heavenly Father and his son Christ Jesus whenever this particular struggle seems to be getting way too overwhelming for me to handle.I throw this particular struggle on my Heavenly Father and pray about it in the name of his son Jesus Christ and they both help in sustaining me.It shows that I am not alone in this particular struggle and that makes me feel a tad better.Thanks to both God and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
Regarding my SSA struggles,the temptation to masturbate came at me during the wee early morning hours when another erection woke me up out of a deep sleep.I sat up for a while and started to get up and that made the erection soften and after walking a little bit,my genitals were fully soft and I went right back to bed and to sleep.Though I escaped this episode,I did give into a later temptation in the mid afternoon when sexual images of men crept up into my mind while I was lying down and I started to manipulate my genitals to these images and yes,there was lusting involved.I stopped myself before it went to far and I asked my Heavenly Father to forgive me in the name of his son Jesus Christ and after that,I did feel better as I truly believed that my sins were forgiven and forgotten by my Heavenly Father.I was tempted throughout the day to act out by fantasies,lusting and also,to play with my genitals to these things.I prayed to my Heavenly Father in the name of his son Jesus Christ to give me the strength to fight and resist these overwhelming urges to indulge in lustful fantasies to other men.I also asked that my Heavenly Father keep my mind clean from all of these perverse and negative images of men.While I have been doing that,I am again asking for prayers by all of you who continually follow my blog and read the posts.Please keep up in prayer for me and also,please don't be shy and leave me an encouraging word or two.Your prayers and your encouraging words both help keep me going in this particular fight and struggle and make me even more determined to continue soldiering on in my journey to overcome SSA and also to heal from the unwanted and unnatural sexual desires that I have that are connected with SSA.Thanks in advance to all of you for your prayers and encouragement.Thanks also to both God and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
As for tomorrow,I have made no plans.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my plans for the day ahead.FJ