Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving onward.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I woke up in the mid morning and I showered.After my shower,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I did my personal PC work and I got dressed to proceed with the rest of the day.
I really didn't have too much to do today.After my personal PC work was done,I decided to fill out a couple of job applications that I recently acquired and after I was done filling them out,I decided to go out and pick up a couple of things in a couple of stores.
I first went to the local Super Wal-Mart to pick up something that I needed and after that,I went to the drug store to pick up a prescription that I just had refilled.After paying the co-pay on that,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I put the stuff that I bought away and I relaxed and watched a little TV.
After eating,I watched the evening news for a while and I did some more personal PC work.Overall,a pretty good day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving onward,I am still,on a one day at a time basis,dealing and struggling with the symptoms of BPD and it's accompanying emotional roller coaster ride.I never know how my moods and/or emotions will be from one day to the next,or at other times,from one minute/moment to the next within the same day.If having BPD wasn't bad enough,I also have schizophrenic tendencies and that makes my BPD struggles even more difficult as I also have to put up with the hallucinatory effects of schizophrenia at the same time.I am still attending my therapy sessions.I am also continuing to take my medication as directed.I am also still continuing to rely more on my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ whenever this particular struggle is seemingly getting way too difficult for me to handle.Whenever I am feeling even a little overwhelmed by this particular struggle,I simply talk about it with my Heavenly Father in the name of his son Jesus Christ and they both help in sustaining me and getting me through all the rough stuff.It shows that I am not alone in this particular struggle and that makes me feel a tad better.Thanks to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I was again tempted to masturbate in the wee early morning hours when I was awakened by yet another erection.I sat up and proceeded to get out of bed and the erection started to soften as I did this.I sat up for a while and though the urge to masturbate the erection away was overwhelming,I worked hard to resist this overwhelming urge and though it took a while for my genitals to soften,I didn't lay back down until they were.I went back to sleep once the erection had died down.Though I escaped this episode,I was still tempted throughout the day to indulge in fantasies and lusting after other men and also,to manipulate my genitals alongside these things.I kept up in prayer to my Heavenly Father throughout the day and I asked him,in the name of his son Jesus Christ,for strength to fight and resist these urges as they were pretty overwhelming.I kept it up and kept asking for that strength and after I was finished,I felt much better and also,much stronger.The temptations to act out on these unnatural desires that I have can get strong as they days pass by and I just have to keep up in prayer to God in the name of his son Jesus Christ whenever these urges come around.I am also again asking that all of you who continually follow my blog and read my posts to also continue in prayer for me as I am going through this difficult emotional time and also,I also ask that you please leave an encouraging word or two for me in the comments section.I need all the prayers and positive encouragement that I can get as I am really going through a lot of things.Please leave me an encouraging word or two for in the the comments section whenever you visit as my blog gets many visitors and curiosity seekers,but comments are rarely left.Your prayers and your encouraging words both help keep me going and make me even more determined to continue in my journey to overcome this terrible SSA and to continue in my healing journey to help from these unwanted and unnatural sexual desires that I have that are connected with this terrible SSA.Thanks in advance to all of you for your prayers and your encouragement.Thanks also to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
As for tomorrow,with the exception of church as usual,I haven't made any plans.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes and plans for the day ahead.FJ