Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I woke up in the mid morning and I showered.After my shower,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I did my personal PC work and I got dressed to proceed with the rest of the day as I had a few things planned.
I didn't have too much to do today.I simply went to the public library to do some stuff that I couldn't do at home computer-wise.After that was done,I headed for a nearby Dollar Tree store to pick up a small thing that I needed.After paying for that,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I relaxed and watched a little TV.
After eating,I watched the evening news for a while and I did some more personal PC work.Overall,a pretty good day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward,I am still,on a one day at a time basis,dealing and struggling with the symptoms and the emotional roller coaster ride of BPD.It is a very difficult thing to deal with and endure on a daily basis.Aside from the emotional ups and downs of BPD,I also have to deal with and endure the schizophrenic tendencies that I have,which make both my struggles with BPD and SSA even more difficult.I am still attending my therapy sessions.I am also continuing to take my medication as directed.I am also still continuing to rely more on my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ whenever this particular struggle seems to be getting way too difficult for me to handle.I simply talk about this particular struggle with my Heavenly Father and I ask him in the name of his Christ Jesus to get me through and to keep me stable.I always feel a tad better as they both help in sustaining me and also,they both help keep me on a steady and level plain.Thanks to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
Regarding my SSA struggles,the temptation to masturbate came at me during the wee early morning hours when I was awakened by yet another erection.I sat up and proceeded to get out of bed to go to the bathroom,and as I headed there,the erection started to soften and when I was finished,my genitals were fully soft and I went back to bed and to sleep afterwards.Though I escaped this episode,I was tempted throughout the day to indulge in same sex sexual fantasies and also,to lust after them,including the temptation to manipulate my genitals for the purpose of getting them near/full erection and/or to the point of orgasm and stopping.I had to really pray hard to my Heavenly Father in the name of his son Jesus Christ for strength to fight and resist these urges.These urges can and do get very overwhelming at times and the more resistance that is put up,the more stronger the temptations/urges get.I had to really ask for strength to fight and resist these overwhelming urges and I prayed very hard.I did feel better and much stronger after praying and I knew that my Heavenly Father heard me and gave me what I asked for.While I have been doing that,I am again asking that all of you who continue to follow my blog and read the posts to please keep up in prayer for me and also,don't be shy and please leave an encouraging word or two for me in the comments section.I need both prayers and encouraging words to help keep me going in this particular fight and struggle.They both help keep me going and they also both motivate me to continue in this fight and struggle and also,to continue in wanting to overcome SSA and also,to heal from the unwanted and unnatural sexual desires that I have that are connected with this terrible SSA.Thanks in advance to all of you for your prayers and your encouragement.Thanks also to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
As for tomorrow,I haven't made any plans.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes for the day ahead.FJ