Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving onward.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I woke up in the early morning to eagerly await a phone call that I was waiting for from the job placement counselor at the job placement agency.When I did get the phone call,it wasn't what I was hoping for.I was hoping that he had set up an interview at a nursing home in the community that I lived in,but told me that he is postponing this because a tragedy happened in his family that he had to attend to.After hanging up,I was disappointed.I was hoping that the ball would start to roll for me,but this unexpected news happened.I know and understand that this is only human nature and that it can't be helped when an unexpected tragedy happens.It was still pretty disappointing.He said that he would set it up by next week and I simply said okay.I am hoping that the openings for cleaners at that local nursing home are still open by next week.After that,I hit the showers and I when I was finished,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After that,I did my personal PC work and I got dressed to proceed with the rest of the day.
I had only a couple if things planned for today.I had to drop something off at a friends place of business.Before that,I dropped my laundry off at my niece's house.After that was done,I headed over to a local supermarket to pick up something that I needed.After paying for it,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I relaxed for a bit and did some cleaning up around the house.
After eating,I watched the evening news for a while and I did some more personal PC work.Overall,a pretty good day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving onward,I am still,on a daily basis,dealing and struggling with the symptoms of BPD and it;s accompanying emotional roller coaster ride.I also have schizophrenic tendencies and that makes my BPD struggles even more difficult.I am still attending my therapy sessions.I am also continuing to take my medication as directed.I am also continuing to rely more on my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ whenever this particular struggle seems to be getting way too difficult for me to handle.I simply take this particular struggle as a burden to my Heavenly Father in prayer.I ask him in the name of his son Jesus Christ to get me through the negative affects of this psychiatric double whammy that I struggle with.I ask him for strength to help me endure and both he and his son Christ Jesus both help in sustaining me.They also help keep me on a much calmer and level plain.It shows that I am not alone in this particular struggle and that makes me feel a tad better.Thanks to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I was again tempted to masturbate during the wee early morning hours when I was awakened by yet another erection.I sat up for a while and I proceeded to get up out of bed.This actually made the erection start to soften.When my genitals were fully soft,I went right back to bed and subsequently back to sleep.Though I did escape this episode,I was tempted throughout the day to act out on these unnatural sexual desires that I have.I was tempted to lust and fantasize with other men as sexual images of men kept clouding my mind throughout the day.I didn't want to fall short as I did last week.I prayed to my Heavenly Father and asked him for strength.I asked him in the name of his son Jesus Christ to keep me strong.I also asked him for the strength to help me fight and resist these overwhelming urges that were coming at me from all sides.These urges can be very overwhelming and I never know how strong that they can be most of the time.After praying,I felt better and much stronger.I knew and truly believed that my Heavenly Father heard me and gave me the strength that I asked for.I am also again asking that all of you who follow my blog to please continue praying for me as I am going through a very difficult emotional time.I also ask that none of you be shy and leave me an encouraging word or two for me in the comments section.Prayers and emotional encouragement are both strong weapons in the SSA struggle and they both help out in immeasurable ways.Their power is both strong and immeasurable.Please continue in prayer for me and also,please don't be shy and leave me an encouraging word or two for me in the comments section.As I have said before and I will say again,both your prayers and your positive emotional verbal encouragement help keep me going in this fight and they make me even more determined to continue in overcoming this terrible SSA.They also motivate me to continue in my healing journey to heal from these unwanted and unnatural sexual desires that I have that are connected with this terrible SSA that I struggle with.Thanks in advance to all of you for your prayers and encouragement.Thanks also to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ ffor everything that they do and provide.
As for tomorrow,I have made no plans.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes for the day ahead.FJ