Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I woke up in the mid morning and I showered quickly.After my shower,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I got dressed quickly and headed over to my Thursday morning spirituality group.
The group meeting was wonderful.After it was over,I headed over to a local kitchen for some lunch and after eating,I headed for home.
On the way home,I stopped at a gas station to get some gas.After that,I did a little bit more of bottle and can hunting.After that,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I relaxed and did my personal PC work.Since it rained for much of the day,I stayed home and watched a DVD or two in the DVD player.
After eating,I watched a movie of two that I popped into the DVD player.I also did some more personal PC work afterwards.Overall,a pretty good day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward,I am still,on a daily basis,dealing and struggling with the symptoms of BPD and it's accompanying emotional roller coaster ride.I also have schizophrenic tendencies and that makes my BPD struggles even more difficult.I am still attending my therapy sessions.I am also continuing to take my medication as directed.I am also still continuing to rely more on my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ whenever this particular struggle seems to be getting way too difficult for me to handle.I simply throw this particular struggle on my Heavenly Father as a burden.I ask him for strength,in the name of his son Jesus Christ, to help me endure through the negative affects of this particular psychiatric double whammy that I struggle with.They both help in sustaining me.They also help keep me on a much calmer and level plain.It shows that I am not alone in this particular struggle and that does make me feel a tad better.Thanks to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
Regarding my SSA struggles,the temptation to masturbate came at me during the wee early morning hours when yet another erection woke me up out of a deep sleep.I sensed that I had to use the bathroom,so I got up and headed for the bathroom.This made the erection start to soften.My genitals were fully soft once I was finished.I went right back to bed and to sleep after that.Though I escaped this episode,I was tempted throughout the day to indulge in fantasies and lusting of other men.Throughout the day,sexual images of men clouded my mind and that created the temptations to lust and fantasize.I simply turned to my Heavenly Father in prayer.I asked him,in the name of his son Jesus Christ,to give me the strength to fight and resist these urges that were very overwhelming.I prayed real hard and left nothing out.I threw everything on him and asked for that strength to help me fight and resist these urges.After I was finished praying,I felt better and much stronger.I knew and truly believed that my Heavenly Father gave me what I had asked for.Though I have been doing this.I am asking that all of you who follow my blog and read my posts to please continue praying for me as I am still going through a very difficult emotional time.I also ask that all of you please leave me an encouraging word or two in the comments section.I need both your prayers and your positive words of encouragement.They both help keep me going in this particular fight and struggle.They both strengthen my determination to overcome this terrible SSA,and my motivation to continue in my healing journey to heal from these unwanted and unnatural sexual desires that I have that are connected with this terrible SSA.Thanks in advance to all of you for your prayers and your positive verbal encouragement.Thanks also to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
As for tomorrow,I haven't made any plans.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes for the day ahead.FJ