Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward.I had a pretty fair day today.
Today,I woke up in the early morning and I showered.After my shower,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I did my personal PC work and since today was a chilly day,I decided to simply stay home and take it easy for much of the day.I also managed to get some much put off cleaning up around the house done.
I relaxed for much of the day.I decided to simply put in a few more job applications online and I am still hoping for the best.After that,I decided to watch a couple of DVD's.
After eating,I watched the evening news for a while and I did some more personal PC work.Overall,a pretty good day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward,I am still,on a daily basis,dealing and struggling with the symptoms of BPD and it's accompanying emotional roller coaster ride.My moods and/or emotions fluctuate by the day,or at other times,by the minute/moment within the same day.I also have schizophrenic tendencies and that makes my BPS struggles even more difficult.I am still attending my therapy sessions.I am also continuing to take my medication as directed.I am also still continuing to rely more on my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ whenever this particular struggle seems to be getting way too difficult for me to handle.I simply throw this particular struggle on my Heavenly Father as a burden.I ask him in the name of his son Jesus Christ to help me endure through the negative affects of this particular psychiatric double whammy that I struggle with.I ask for strength to help me through.They both help in sustaining me and also,they help keep me on a much calmer and level plain.It shows that I am not alone in this particular struggle and that does make me feel a little bit better.Thanks to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I was again tempted to masturbate during the wee early morning hours when I was awakened by yet another erection.I had to really use all of my strength to help me fight and resist this overwhelming urge.I got up out of bed and proceeded to head for the bathroom and that made the erection start to soften,though it was slow going.After I was finished in the bathroom,my genitals were fully soft and I went right back to bed and subsequently to sleep.Though I escaped this episode,I was tempted throughout the day to indulge in fantasies and lusting of other men throughout the day.I had to contend with sexual images of men clouding my mind and trying to envelope me.Yes,they were coming on strong and the urge to act out on them was very overwhelming.I had to go to my Heavenly Father in prayer and pray for strength to fight and resist these overwhelming urges.I asked him for that strength in the name of his son Jesus Christ.I prayed very hard for that as I didn't want to sin against my Heavenly Father by giving into these terrible temptations.After I finished,I felt much stronger and I knew and believed that my Heavenly Father gave me what I asked for.While I did that throughout the day today,I am again asking that all of you who continually follow my blog and read my posts to please continue praying for me as I am still going through a very difficult emotional time.I need your prayers.I also need your encouraging words in the comments section.Please continue praying for me.Please leave me some positive encouraging words in the comments section.My blog gets many visitors and/or curiosity seekers,but comments are rarely left.I need both your prayers and your encouraging words.They both help keep me going in this fight and struggle.They help strengthen my determination to overcome this terrible SSA.They also help strengthen my motivation to continue in my healing journey to heal from these unwanted and unnatural sexual desires that I have that are connected with this terrible SSA.Thanks in advance to all of you for your prayers and your positive verbal encouragement.Thanks also to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
As for tomorrow,with the exception of getting an oil change done,I have no other plans.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes and plans for the day ahead.FJ