Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I woke up in the early morning and watched a little TV.I had trouble getting to sleep last night and I went back to sleep for a couple more hours.After getting up,I showered.After my shower,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After that,I did my personal PC work and I got dressed to proceed with the rest of the day.
I had a few things to do today.I stopped in on a friend to see how he was doing and after a few minutes with him,I headed for home.
On the way home,I stopped at a local Dollar Tree store to pick up a few hygienic stuff that I needed.After paying for those things,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I put the stuff away and I watched a movie that I placed into the DVD player.I also at dinner while watching the movie.Overall,a pretty good day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward,I am still,on a daily basis,dealing and struggling with the symptoms of BPD and it's accompanying emotional roller coaster ride.I never know how my moods and/or emotions will be from one day to the next,or at other times,from one minute/moment to the next within the same day.I also have schizophrenic tendencies and that makes my BPD struggles even more difficult.I am still attending my therapy sessions.I am also continuing to take my medication as directed.I am also still continuing to rely more on my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ whenever this particular struggle seems to be getting way too difficult for me to handle.I simply throw this particular struggle on my heavenly Father as a burden.I ask him,in the name of his son Jesus Christ,to help me endure through the negative affects of this psychiatric double whammy that I struggle with.They both help in sustaining me and also,they help keep me on a calmer and level plain.It shows that I am not alone in this particular struggle and that does make me feel a little bit better.Thanks to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I gave into temptation late last night when I masturbated.I had a difficult time getting to sleep last night as the anxiety that I have been feeling as a result of not being able to land a job as of yet.My job search has been making me anxious and my self confidence is getting very low.I have been getting the same old cold reception.I have had four interviews,but nobody has hired me as of yet.All of this made me lose sleep and I wound up giving into temptation bu masturbating.I also gave into this again during the mid morning again and on both occasions,I felt pretty miserable.On both occasions,I asked my Heavenly Father to forgive me for sinning against him.I asked him for forgiveness in the name of his son Jesus Christ as I was really miserable for sinning against him.I really felt bad and I poured my sol out to him and after praying,I did feel better as I knew and truly believed that I was truly forgiven.I went on with the rest of the day feeling better knowing that I was forgiven for my sins.I really need to work really hard in fighting and resisting these overwhelming urges.I was tempted throughout the day to indulge in same sex fantasies and lusting after other men.I decided ti stay busy through the day as I ran all of my errands and kept busy with them.Fellow blog followers and readers of my posts here,I am asking for all of you to please continue praying for me.Please continue praying for me as I am still going through a very difficult emotional time.My SSA struggles,combined with my lack of success in trying to find a job,have really been taking a toll on me and have been giving me a very rough emotional time and also,stress has also been building up within me.Please continue praying for me as I really desperately need your prayers.I also need your positive verbal encouragement in the comments section.Please leave me some words of encouragement in the comments section.I need both prayers and words of encouragement.I am in desperate need of both.They both help keep me going in this fight and struggle.They also continue to help strengthen both my determination to overcome this SSA and my determination to continue in my journey to heal from these unwanted and unnatural sexual desires that I have that are connected with this terrible SSA.Thanks in advance to all of you for your continued prayers and positive verbal encouragement.Thanks also to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
As for tomorrow,with the exception of church as usual,I have no other plans.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes and plans for the day ahead.FJ