Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I woke up in the mid morning and I showered quickly.After my shower,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I did my personal PC work real quickly and I got dressed to proceed with the rest of the day as I had a few things planned.Before I set out to do what I had to do,I got a phone call for a job interview at a local department store for Friday afternoon.After that,I headed out to do what I had to do.
I first went to a local supermarket to pick up a box of cereal.After that,I headed over to the local Super Wal-Mart to pick up a gallon of milk.After that,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I put the milk in the fridge and the box of cereal in the cupboard.After that,I went back online to make a list of places that I applied to for a job to share with my new job placement counselor so I could call her and leave a message on her voice-mail.After that,I just took it easy for a while and watched a movie or two.
After eating,I watched the evening news for a while and I did some more personal PC work.Overall,a pretty good day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward,I am still,on a daily basis,dealing and struggling with the symptoms of BPD and it's accompanying emotional roller coaster ride.Lately,as a result of my job search and getting the same cold reception,which is getting interviews with nobody hiring me to give me a chance,I have been on a down spiral as my self confidence and self esteem are getting lower.Though I am still putting the applications in for work online and on paper,my confidence is still getting low and I am hoping that my latest interview will lead to me being hired.I really want to work and I also like to work.My schizophrenic tendencies are also contributing to this making my BPD struggles even more difficult and also,making my SSA issues going from bad to worse.I am still attending my therapy sessions.I am also continuing to take my medication as directed.I am also continuing to rely more on my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ whenever this particular struggle seems to be getting way too overwhelming for me to handle.I throw this particular struggle on my Heavenly Father as a burden.I ask my Heavenly Father,in the name of his son Jesus Christ,to help me endure through the negative affects of this particular struggle that I have,which is a difficult psychiatric double whammy.I pray for the strength to get me through.They both help in sustaining me and also,keeping me on a much calmer and level plain.It shows that I am never alone in this particular struggle and that does make me feel a tad better.Thanks to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I am getting tempted to indulge in same sex fantasies and lusting after other men.I was also tempted to masturbate during the wee early morning hours when yet another erection woke me up out of a deep sleep.I had to really get up out of bed and walked around nervously as this current erection was a throbbing one indeed.I headed for the bathroom as I had to use it and that made this throbbing erection soften.When I was finished,my genitals were fully soft and I went right back to bed and subsequently back to sleep.Though I escaped this episode,I was tempted throughout the day to indulge in same sex sexual fantasies and lusting after other men.I stayed out in the community for much of the day shopping and just staying busy with what I had to do.It kept my mind off of all things sexual.I didn't have much at all today as I went through the day.While I went through the well enough,I am again asking that all of you who follow my blog and read my posts to please keep up in prayer for me as I am going through a very difficult emotional time right now.Please continue praying for me.Please also leave me an encouraging word or two for me in the comments section.I need both your prayers and your positive words of encouragement.They do both help in many positive ways.They both help keep me going in this particular fight and struggle.They also both help strengthen my motivation to continue in overcoming this terrible SSA and my motivation to heal from these unwanted and unnatural sexual desires that I connected with this terrible SSA.My blog gets many visitors and/or curiosity seekers,but they rarely leave any comments.Please leave me an encouraging word or two for me in the comments section as I really need some positive verbal encouragement.Thanks in advance to all of you for your prayers and positive verbal encouragement.Thanks also to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
As for tomorrow,I have made no plans.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes for the day ahead.FJ