Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I woke up in the mid morning and I showered.After my shower,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I did my personal PC work and I got dressed to proceed with the rest of the day.
I didn't have too much to do as a result of winds and rain.I did however manage to get a couple of things done.I first went to the bank to withdraw some much needed money and after that,I headed over to the local Super Wal-Mart to pick up something I needed.After paying for this,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I relaxed and watched a DVD that I popped into the DVD player.
After eating,I watched the evening news for a while and I did some more personal PC work.Overall,a pretty good day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward,I am still,on a daily basis,dealing and struggling with the symptoms of BPD and it's accompanying emotional roller coaster ride.I also have schizophrenic tendencies and that makes my BPD struggles even more difficult.I am still attending my therapy sessions.I am also continuing to take my medication as directed.I am also still continuing to rely more on my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ whenever this particular struggle seems to be getting way too difficult for me to handle.I simply throw this particular struggle on my Heavenly Father as a burden and I ask him in the name of his son Jesus Christ to help get me through the negative affects of this particular psychiatric double whammy that I struggle with.They both help in keeping me sustained and also,much calmer and level.It shows that I am not alone in this particular struggle and that does make me feel a tad better.Thanks to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I again fell.I masturbated again.Yes,there was lusting and fantasizing involved.This really made me feel miserable.I gave into it Saturday and after yesterday,I gave into it again early this morning.I don't know whether I am coming or going when I fall short.I really want to overcome this terrible SSA,but currently,I am going it alone as I have no local support network at the moment.I have my online friends,but I also need face to face support from my fellow man.When I did sin,I immediately asked my Heavenly Father to forgive me for sinning.I asked him for forgiveness in the name of his son Jesus Christ.I did feel better because I knew that I was forgiven.The thing is that I don't want to keep falling every time that I turn around.I have been falling quite a bit lately and each time that I fall,I feel miserable and depressed as I feel that I failed my Heavenly Father.I don't want to keep falling.I am again appealing to all of you fellow blog followers and also,fellow men who also struggle with SSA.Please pray for me.I am going through a very difficult time and I need all the prayerful support that I can get.I also need words of positive encouragement.I am appealing to all of you.Please continue praying for me.Please don't be shy and leave me some positive encouraging words as well.I need them both desperately.My blog gets many visitors and/or curiosity seekers,but comments of any kind are rarely left.I need them both desperately.They help keep me going.They also strengthen both my determination to overcome this this terrible SSA.They also strengthen my motivation to continue in my journey to heal from these unwanted and unnatural sexual desires that I have that are connected with this terrible SSA.They both do help in a lot of ways.Thanks in advance to all of you for your prayers and positive verbal encouragement.Thanks also to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
As for tomorrow,I have no plans.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes for the day ahead.FJ