Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward.I had a pretty fair day today.
Today,I woke up in the mid morning and I showered.After my shower,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I did my personal PC work and as a result of the area that I live in being under a high wind warning and advisory,I stayed home and decided to catch up on some much needed work around the house.
It took me several hours,but I managed to get the work that needed to get done accomplished.After that,I relaxed and did a little bit of reading.
After eating,I decided to pop a movie into the DVD player and watched it.Overall,a pretty fair day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward,I am still in my daily battle and struggle with the psychiatric double whammy that I struggle with,which is BPD/Schizophrenia.Today,i am feeling a little down due to the weather that we were having today.It was windy,cold and rainy.There is nothing to do in my hometown when the weather pattern is like that.It is boring and the only thing to do is to simply stay home and just try to get through the day the best that I can.Today,I simply decided to do some much needed work around the house and I feel a little bit better that I did that.Still,it would have been well if the weather wasn't the way that it was today.Right now,the addictions group that I go to weekly is now on hold while the group leader is sick and is hoping to get well soon so the group meetings will resume soon.I have an appointment with the nurse practitioner next Tuesday at the local hospital and that will take care of my therapy for this year alongside the session that I have with my therapist soon after.It's bad enough that I struggle with the psychiatric double whammy that I have.I also struggle with SSA and that struggle is difficult in itself.My BPD/Schizophrenia struggle makes my SSA struggles even more difficult.Today,though I gave the struggle to my Heavenly Father and let him handle it,I was still tempted to indulge in sinful sexual stuff,such as looking at pornography,to manipulate my genitals for the purpose of getting them near/fully erect to sexual images of men and also,I was tempted to go out and seek out other men for the purpose of acting out sexually with them,but as stated,I stayed home today rather than go out and feed that particular temptation.The temptations get even more overwhelming each time they come around.When you get through a day without giving into these temptations,there is always the next day and the more resistance that I put up,the more stronger and overwhelming the temptations get.I understand that being tempted and enduring temptation isn't sinful,but it is a sin to give into temptation.I asked my Heavenly Father for strength to help me fight and resist these terrible and overwhelming urges.I asked him for that strength in the name of his son Jesus Christ because I really needed and wanted to be strong to fight these terrible temptations.I did feel better and much stronger after that.I am again asking that y'all who repeatedly follow my blog and read my posts to please continue praying for me as I am still going through a very difficult emotional time at the moment.I also ask that none of you be shy and leave me some positive and encouraging words in the comments section.My blog gets many visitors and/or curiosity seekers,but comments of any kind are rarely left.Your prayers and your positive verbal encouragement are both very powerful tools.They can do a lot more than you think.They both help keep me going.They also help keep my determination and motivation strong.Thanks in advance to all of you for your prayers and your continues positive verbal encouragement.Thanks also to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
As for tomorrow,I have made no plans.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes for the day ahead.FJ