Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward.I had a wonderful and eventful day today.
Today,I woke up in the early morning and I showered quickly.After my shower,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After that,I got dressed up in a suit real quickly and I waited for a ride to church as my car is in the shop waiting to get looked at to see what is wrong with it.When my ride showed up,I got into the van and we headed for church for both the morning's Holy Bible study class and the worship service afterwards.
Both the study class and the worship service were wonderful.After some wonderful fellowship,my ride took me home and the person wanted me to let them know what is up with my car once I hear something.I told them that I would and after he dropped me off,I got into the house to get out of my suit and into my sweatsuit.I did my personal PC work and I decided to catch up on some much needed cleaning work in my old upstairs room.After that was done,I relaxed and took it easy.
After eating,I decided to watch a DVD that I popped into the DVD player and I relaxed.I also prepared for my evening retirement.Overall,a wonderful and eventful day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward,I am still in my daily struggle against BPD/Schizophrenia and SSA.Today,I gave into temptation by manipulating my genitalia to sexual images of men clouding my mind and I lusted and fantasized with these images,but I managed to stop myself before it went too far.When I did stop myself,I immediately asked my Heavenly Father to forgive me for my sins.I asked him for forgiveness in the name of his son Jesus Christ.I prayed real hard and I left nothing out as I prayed.I opened up everything to my Heavenly Father and I left nothing out.After I was finished,I felt much better and I truly knew and believed that I was forgiven.After what happened today,I really need to get tough on myself and be on guard.I also must be watchful as Satan and his minions are out there trying to get anyone who worships the sovereign Lord and creator,our Heavenly Father,to sin grievously against him.Satan and his minions are responsible for getting people to sin and also,they are responsible for getting those with SSA to sin by acting out on the unnatural desires that they have that are connected with SSA.He also tries to get people who struggle,such as myself,to surrender to those unnatural sexual desires that we have that are connected with SSA and Satan and his minions will stop at nothing until they get what they want.As stated,I need to get tough on myself and work on staying on guard and being watchful for Satan's tricks.I need to really start praying for strength whenever these temptations come around when least expected.I do need to get tough and say to myself "I won't act out.I must pray to strength to help me fight and resist these terrible temptations.I must go to my Heavenly Father and ask him for that strength to help me fight and resist in the name of his son Jesus Christ."The thing is that there are man ways that anyone who struggles with SSA can act out aside from searching out other men for the purpose of indulging in sinful sexual activity with them,such as watching pornography,fantasies,lusting and masturbating to the images of men that at times can cloud minds,which is the lusting and fantasizing part.Fellow blog followers,please continue praying for me as I am going through this difficult time and also,please don't forget to leave me an encouraging word or two for me in the comments section.I need both your prayers and your continued positive verbal support.They both help keep me going and make me even more determined to continue in my journey to overcome and heal from this terrible SSA.They really both help in a lot of ways.Thanks in advance to all of you for your continued prayers and your continued positive verbal encouragement.Thanks also to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
As for tomorrow,with the exception of finding out what is wrong with my car,I have nothing else planned.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes and plans for the day ahead.FJ