Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I woke up in the mid morning and I had 2 cups of coffee.After that,I had my usual quick breakfast and I cleaned up around the house.After that,I showered in the early afternoon and after getting dressed,I headed out to the local Denny's for a light lunch and after that,I left to go to a local Dollar Tree store to pick up a couple of things for a light dinner.After that,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I did a little bit more personal PC work.
After eating a light dinner,I went over to my Thursday evening Holy Bible study group,which was as wonderful as ever and I learned a great deal from it all.After it was all over,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I changed into my night clothes and did a little bit more personal PC work.I then started to prepare for my evening retirement.Overall,a pretty good day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward,I am still in my daily struggles against BPD/Schizophrenia and SSA,which is the most difficult of the two and at times,my worst struggle of the two.Today,I gave into temptation twice in the same day by fantasies and lusting after other men and on both occasions,I manipulated my genitals and when I was at the point of climax,I masturbated the rest of the way.On both of these occasions,I went to my Heavenly Father in prayer and asked him to forgive me in the name of his son Jesus Christ,but with the second occurrence,I begged for my Heavenly Father to be merciful towards me and I begged and pleaded for my Heavenly Father's mercy on me.I was really sorry for that second fall within the same day and I asked for mercy and I admitted my shortcomings to him to the point where tears were coming down from my eyes.I really poured my soul out to my Heavenly Father and repeatedly begged for mercy.It was terrible that I fell short twice in the same day.After I was finished praying,I felt much better and I knew and truly believed that I was forgiven.I moved on with the rest of the day.I must admit that there are times that when I do fall short into sin in regards to this terrible SSA struggle,I feel trapped within the realm of Homosexuality/SSA because I always hate it when I fall short of my Heavenly Father's perfect law and will and wished that I didn't have this struggle to deal with each and every day.Not only that,my struggles with BPD/Schizophrenia also make the SSA struggle even more difficult for me because I hear things and voices in my head to do these terrible wrong things,such as fantasy,lusting and to inappropriately touch my genitalia to these things.I also feel like a basket case at times when I fall short repeatedly.Fellow blog followers,please continue to pray for me.I really need your prayerful support right now.I also need for y'all to leave me some words of positive encouragement as I am still going through a very difficult emotional time at the moment and this fall into sin today didn't help matters at all.Please continue praying for me.I also would appreciate some positive verbal support right now as I really need that as much as the prayerful support.Thanks in advance to all of you for your continued prayers and your continued positive verbal encouragement.Thanks also to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
As for tomorrow,with the exception of having dinner at my niece's house tomorrow evening,I have really no plans.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes and plans for the day ahead.FJ