Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I woke up in the mid morning and I had my usual 2 cups of coffee.After my coffee,I decided to postpone my morning shower and had my usual quick breakfast.After that,I got dressed and I headed for the post office to mail out an important payment and to get a money order to pay my car insurance for this month.After that was done,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I showered quickly and when I was finished,I did my personal PC work.After that was done,I headed out to run an errand.
I first stopped at the local Salvation Army thrift store and I bought a few things.After that,I headed to a local bargain supermarket to pick up a few needed things.After paying for those things,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I put the groceries away and started to prepare my evening meal.
After eating,I popped a DVD into the DVD and watched it.After that was over,I relaxed and did a little bit more personal PC work.Overall,a pretty good day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward,I am still in my daily struggles against BPD/Schizophrenia and SSA,which is the most difficult of the two for me.Today,though this is painful for me to admit,I gave into temptation by manipulating my genitals to sexual images of men that clouded my mind,leading me to fantasize and lust after them and when the moment of orgasm came,I masturbated the rest of the way leading to ejaculation.After washing my hands,I immediately went in prayer to my Heavenly Father and asked him to forgive me for sinning in the name of his son Jesus Christ.I also admitted full and total responsibility for my fall and I left nothing out.I prayed hard and pleased for forgiveness and when I was finished,I felt better as I knew and truly believed that I was truly forgiven and I went on with the rest of the day.I really need to continue working on getting tough with myself.I need to really work on going to my Heavenly Father and asking for strength to help me fight and resist these terrible and overwhelming urges.I don't want to keep on giving into these terrible urges because it's not what I want.I don't want these unnatural sexual desires to own me.I don't want them defining who I am nor dictate to me how I will act.I need to get tough and tell Satan and his minions to get out of here.I don't want to give them what they want and I don't want to fall into the trap of habitually falling and asking for forgiveness.Fellow blog followers,please continue to keep me in your prayers and also,please don't forget to leave me some positive verbal support in the comments section.I need both your prayers and your continued positive verbal support.I need to be reaffirmed and reassured that I am not alone in this particular struggle.I want to heal from and overcome this terrible SSA.Please continue praying for me.Please leave me some positive verbal support in the comments section.Thanks in advance to all of you for your continued prayerful and positive verbal support.Thanks also to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
As for tomorrow,with the exception of church as usual in the morning,I have nothing else planned.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes and plans for the day ahead.FJ