Merry Christmas to all the ones who read my blog regularly and to everyone in the world.May this Christmas be the merriest and happiest for all of you and that y'all have many happy memories to cherish forever.
Tonight,my road to recovery continues to be a positive one.I had a very good and eventful day today,despite a setback.
This morning,I woke up in the early morning and I bathed.I was getting ready for the morning's church service and I wanted to make sure that I was ready for it.It was the Christmas morning service and I was looking forward to it with a lot of positive anticipation and enthusiasm.
After my bath,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I did half of my my usual personal PC work and got dressed up because I wanted to make sure that I got there for the morning's service and I also wanted to make sure that I got there on time.I was looking forward to this after the Christmas Eve service last night because that was a wonderful service.So,I had a smile on my face and a lot to look forward to.
The service was wonderful and I really enjoyed it.There were a lot more people in the church this morning and that even made it even more wonderful.I especially enjoyed the fellowship before and after the service.It is really terrific to be among people who worship the creator in the name of his son Jesus Christ and to just be there as a whole.I am overjoyed that I am now back in church after so long and I keep asking myself why I didn't do this a long time ago after I had abandoned that religious cult that I followed for two years of my life.I had a smile on my face that wouldn't leave me and with that smile,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I got some very distressing news.I went into the house and heard my mom sigh very sadly.I asked her what was wrong and she said that she wasn't feeling well.She said that she felt hot and that he head hurt on her left side.She also complained of a backache and that her legs were also hurting.She had me call my niece so she could explain the situation to her.After a few minutes,I hung the phone up and proceeded to get out of my suit and into my casual clothes.My mom laid down and I relaxed for a while until it was time for me to go too my niece's house alone with the sweet potato casserole that my mom made for the occasion.
When I got to my nieces house,we ate dinner and had some pretty good conversations after we ate.They all understood that I couldn't stay too long as my responsibilities were at home to watch over mom and see that she was looked after.I left the house with some food and I headed straight home and that is where I stayed for the rest of the day because it was the holiday and there was nothing else to do.
When I got home,I put the food given me in the fridge and I relaxed and watched a little bit of TV.
I did some more personal PC work as the day went on.Overall,a very good and eventful day despite the negative setback of my mom falling ill and not able to make it to the dinner.Still,it was a very good and eventful day.
Though my recovery from bipolar depression with schizophrenic tendencies continues positively,I am still,on a one day at a time basis,dealing with the symptoms of what I struggle with mentally and emotionally.I am still attending my therapy sessions.I am also taking my medication as directed.I am hoping to continue feeling better in the days and months ahead.
Regarding my SSA struggles,though I am still feeling pretty down because of that confrontation with a former aquaintance of mine that I had yesterday as to him asking me where I am at as per leaving the "Homosexual/Gay" lifestyle quite a while ago,my temptation is nil at the moment.I have no cravings to act out in any way.I have no cravings to manipulate my genitals for the purpose of getting them hard or near hard for masturbation.I also have no urge to look at pictures of nude men or even at pornography.I guess that the feelings that I am receiving from all the positive fellowship from church is playing a role in that.I have no feelings at all at the moment and I am enjoying that.Still,despite this positive,I need to remain on guard because the temptation can come back when least expected.I need to be watchful and I need to learn to identify any triggers that may happen when least expected.Though it is nil at the moment,it can come back and I need to be watchful.If anyone out there is reading this and has anything in the form of advice or suggestions,feel free to share.I am always open to anything.Please help me fellow men out there who are reading this and who are also struggling like myself.I could use some of that right now.Please help me.Thanks to all who do.
As for tomorrow,I haven't made any plans.But whatever I do,I hope that it gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes for the day ahead.FJ