Tonight,my road to recovery continues.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I woke up in the early morning and I bathed.After my bath,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After that,I did my personal PC work and I got dressed.I had only a few things on my agenda and I wanted to get them done.
I had only a few things planned.I also wanted to make sure that I stayed close to home as a result of yet another blast of Winter weather has come upon us.Since very early this morning,we have been under a Winter Weather Advisory that will stay in effect until 7:00pm tonight and not only that,we are also under a Wind Advisory until 4:00pm this afternoon.It did feel cold this morning when I went into my computer room to turn on my electric space heater to warm the room up a bit.It still felt cold after I went in there to do my personal PC work,but after several minutes,it did get a little warmer.I simply finished off my work for the morning and after it was finished,I closed off the internet and got ready to get on with the rest of the day,with the exception of having to go to the local Burger king to pick up dinner for both me and my mom,but I did stay home for the rest of the evening afterwards.
Firstly,I went to the post office to get a money order so I could mail out an important bill to get paid and after that,I headed over to a couple of local stores to pick up a few things that were needed for the house.After that,I headed over to a nearby gas station to get some gas.After that,I headed straight home and I stayed there for the rest of the day.
When I got home,I simply relaxed and took it easy for a while.
After eating,I watched the evening news for a while and I also did some more personal PC work.Overall,a pretty good day despite the nasty Winter weather that we had today.
Though my recovery continues,I am still,on a daily basis,dealing and struggling with the symptoms of bipolar depression with schizophrenic tendencies.I am still attending my therapy sessions.I am also taking my medication as directed.I am hoping that I will start feeling better in the near and distant future.
Regarding my struggles with SSA,I gave into temptation late last night by masturbating and it was emotional.I did feel bad afterwards.This morning,I awoke with an erection and my temptation to act out by masturbating again was really high.I know and understand that erections will happen when least expected and it is not that I wish that I wouldn't get them,but when I do get an erection,my temptation to act out by masturbating it away gets really strong.I simply tossed and turned around until my penis got soft again.I slept for several hours until the alarm went off to wake me up.My temptation to act out is not as strong as it was this morning,but it is still there.I just have to keep fighting this temptation and urge to masturbate continuously.I know that I must stay strong.I also know that I have keep telling myself that my desires don't own me as I own them.I have to keep saying that my desires have no hold on me as I have a hold on them.I am still learning on a daily basis that the fight to overcome SSA is not a very easy one.It is a very difficult fight,but it can be won.I just have to keep fighting the desires and fighting the urge to act out on them in any way,shape or form.I am still open to anything regarding this.Thanks.
As for tomorrow,I have made no plans.But whatever I do,I hope that it gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes for the day ahead.FJ