Tonight,my road to recovery continues onward.I had a pretty fair day today.
Today,I woke up in the early morning,though it was later that I wanted to because I didn't hear the alarm go off,and bathed.After my bath,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After all of that,I did my personal PC work and I got dressed to proceed with the rest of my day.
I didn't have too much planned.Yesterday,as reported,we had a snow storm and we were under a Winter weather advisory for much of the day,which ended at 9:00pm last night.The weather is still cold and there is still lots of snow on the ground.But we are supposed to get warmer again starting this coming Sunday.In my area,we have been having a roller-coaster Winter season.One minute it is warm and rainy,while the next minute it is cold and snowy.According to various weather sources,we,in the area of the country where I live,are under a jet stream that was borne out of the West Coast and while we are under that jet stream,we will be having a roller-coaster Winter weather pattern until the jet stream loses it's energy.I really don't know when that will be,but I am hoping that the atmosphere starts to be with the season soon.
Okay,back to the day.I only had a couple of things that I needed to do.I also wanted to make sure that I kept it close to home due to the weather conditions.I only went to a couple of local stores to pick up a few things that were needed for the home.It wasn't easy trying to locate any of the stuff,but I managed to get it all done.After that,I headed straight home and I stayed there for the rest of the day.
When I got home,I relaxed and took it easy for a while.I also watched a little TV while doing so.
After eating,I watched the evening news for a while and I also did some more personal PC work.Overall,a pretty fair day.
Though my recovery continues,I am still,on a daily basis,dealing and struggling with the symptoms of bipolar depression and schizophrenic tendencies.I am still attending my therapy sessions.I am also taking my medication as directed.I am hoping that my recovery continues and I also hope that it does improve somewhere along the line.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I was tempted again early this morning when I woke up with a morning erection that was throbbing.Whenever I get an erection in the early morning hours,I am always tempted to masturbate the erection away.In the past,whenever I did get a morning erection,that was the way that I got rid of it by simply masturbating it away.I was in yet another fight to resist that awful temptation.I also felt like that if it kept throbbing,my penis would explode by ejaculating a torrent of semen.Fortunately,that didn't happen and I simply got up to go to the bathroom and the erection started to die down and once my penis was soft,I had no temptation to act out nor any temptation to masturbate it away.I took my bath to clean up and that was that.For the rest of the day,my temptation to act out was minimal if nil at best.But it was pretty tempting this morning and my urge to masturbate was really strong.I have to continuously keep in mind that masturbation is an unclean habit and once addicted,it can be a difficult habit to break and overcome.The reason why it is so difficult to break free from is because when someone does it,the feelings that it gives feels really good until the ejaculation of semen happens after orgasm is achieved.Plus,when someone is used to it,it is like that their sexuality owns them rather than that someone owning it.I also have to continuously keep in mind that masturbation can have a negative influence on the healing process from unwanted SSA,as that habit will only reinforce the Homosexual identity and keep them as far away from becoming the man or woman that God has intended them to be.It can also give any person in recovery from SSA that it wouldn't hurt to act out at least once,when in reality,acting out will hurt as it might lead anyone in that healing and recovery process back to their old sinful life patterns and then,they're back at Square One.This shows that I still need to be on guard and watchful whenever temptation rears it's ugly head and again,I am glad for the advice that has been given to me.Thanks to all who follow this blog of mine for all the help.
As for the weekend,I have made no plans.But whatever I do,I hope that it gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes for the weekend ahead.FJ