Tonight,my road to recovery continues onward.I have a very good and eventful day today.
Today,I woke up in the early morning and I bathed.I really hurried as I was planning to go to the morning's church and attend the Holy Bible study class an hour and a half before the service.After my bath,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I immediately got dressed up and after a few minutes of warming up my car,I headed over to the church.
The service was once again wonderful.The pastor gave a sermon about human relationships and their place in the eyes of God through Jesus Christ and also,in regards to the membership of the church.It was yet again another worship service and also,the Holy Bible study class was also a great thing today as well.After the service,I had some wonderful fellowship after the service and even before it,there was some wonderful fellowship.After it was all over,I headed for home.
On the way home,I stopped at a local Dollar Tree store to pick up some stuff that was needed for the home.After paying for all that stuff,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I got out of my suit and into some casual clothes.I did my personal PC work afterwards and after that was done,I relaxed and popped a DVD into the DVD player.
After the movie,I headed back out to get some coffee as I had remembered when I got home that I forgot to buy it at the Dollar Tree store.After paying for the coffee,I headed straight home and stayed there for the rest of the day.
When I got home,I relaxed and popped another DVD in the DVD player.
After eating,I watched the evening news for a while and I also did some more personal PC work.Overall,a very good and eventful day.
Though my recovery continues onward,I am still,on a daily basis,dealing and struggling with the symptoms of bipolar depression with schizophrenic tendencies.I am still attending my therapy sessions.I am also taking my medication as directed.I am hoping that my recovery continues onward and I am hoping that it does indeed go back to being positive really soon.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I once again had the temptation to masturbate early this morning as I had another morning erection that woke me up out of a deep sleep and was also throbbing.I simply did what I always do when that happens.I simply tossed and turned repeatedly until my penis softened.After that,I slept a little while longer until it was time for me to wake up.For the rest of the day,my temptation to act out on my desires was minimal if nil at best.I escaped a painful temptation early this morning,but I know that it can happen again.It wasn't easy resisting that temptation to act out by masturbating that erection away.But I had to keep fighting it until it died.I know that masturbation will never connect me to my lost maleness nor will it connect me to anything having to do with men and masculinity.I just have to keep fighting the urge every time that it comes around.Again,I am happier knowing that I do have a choice whether or not to act out.I can choose not to act out,though the resistance to the temptation to act out can be difficult to resist and I may have to put up with pain and tension in that resistance.But again,I know that I am pleasing God by my resistance.I will just have to keep fighting that urge every time that it comes around.I know that it won't be an easy thing to fight,but I am determined not to weaken.I have to stay strong and hang in there.Thanks to all for your support.
As for tomorrow,I have a recovery group and a work skills group and I need to attend both of them.As for the rest of the day,I have no other plans.But whatever I choose to do,I hope that it gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes and plans for the day ahead.FJ