Tonight,my road to recovery continues forward.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I woke up in the late morning and I bathed.After my bath,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I did my personal PC work and I got dressed.I had some stuff planned and I wanted to get them accomplished.
I first had a couple of important groups that I had to attend.I attend these groups every Monday and I needed to attend them today.
They both went well.After they were over,I headed for home.
On the way home,I stopped at the bank to withdraw some money for my mom.After that was done,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I relaxed and took it easy for a while.
After eating,I watched the evening news for a while and I also did some more personal PC work.Overall,a pretty good day.
Though my recovery continues forward,I am still,on a one day at a time basis,dealing and struggling with the symptoms of bipolar depression with schizophrenic tendencies.I am still attending my therapy sessions.I am also taking my medication as directed.I am hoping that my recovery starts to improve very soon.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I was again tempted to act out by masturbating when I was again awakened by another erection.I had to really fight this temptation as it was a really hard one and also another throbbing one.I tossed and turned until the erection died down and afterwards,I went back to sleep.Though I escaped this one,I know that the struggle to resist the temptation to act out in any way,shape or form other than seeking another man to act out with can rear it's ugly head when least expected.It can hit anytime.I will just have to keep fighting this temptation each and every time that it rolls around.I don't want to masturbate anymore as I know that masturbation will never get me what I really need and want,which is affirmation of my gender identity and the feelings of authenticity that go with that affirmation.Masturbation will only reinforce the Homosexual identity,which is what I am trying to overcome and do away with.Again,if anyone has anything helpful to offer,please share.Thanks.
Tomorrow,I have an appointment with my sexual abuse support counselor.As for the rest of the day,I have no other plans.But whatever I choose to do,I hope that it gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes and plans for the day ahead.FJ