Tonight,my road to recovery continues unabated.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I woke up in the early morning and I bathed.After my bath,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I did my personal PC work and I got dressed.I proceeded to get on with the rest of my day as I did have only a little bit planned.
I only went to a couple of places that I needed to go.I first went to the local Big Lots to pick up a couple of things there.After Big Lots,I went over to a nearby Dollar Tree store to pick up a bottle of dish detergent.After paying for that,I headed straight home.I had really nothing else to do as the day was pretty cold and snowy. When I got home,I relaxed and watched a little bit of TV for a while.
After eating,I watched the evening news for a while and I also did some more personal PC work.Overall,a pretty good day.
While my recovery continues unabated,I am still,on a one day at a time basis,dealing and struggling with the symptoms of bipolar depression with schizophrenic tendencies.I am still attending my therapy sessions.I am also taking my medication as directed.I am hoping that my recovery starts to improve in the near and distant future.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I was once again tempted in the wee early morning hours when another erection woke me up out of a deep sleep.It was yet another throbbing one.I had to toss and turn repeatedly and aggressively because I didn't want to masturbate the erection away as I used to do in the past because I know that masturbation is an unclean and dirty habit.I also know that masturbation will never get me what I want,which is affirmation of my gender identity and the feelings of authenticity that go with that affirmation.Masturbation,in my case,will only reinforce the Homosexual identity,which is the identity that I am trying to overcome and rid myself of.Though I escaped this episode,I know that the temptation to act out in any way,shape or form can rear it's ugly head when least expected.I have to continually stay on guard and be watchful.I also have to work on staying strong to resist the temptation to act out in other ways other than seeking a male partner to act out sexually with.I also have that temptation to do that,but I don't do that.God and his sacred word the Holy Bible condemns such sinful sexual activity as he created man and woman for a reason.God intended for us to be Heterosexual as he created man and woman for that reason.I will have to keep on fighting the desires.If anyone has some more suggestions or any other thing that I can use,please share.Thanks.
Tomorrow morning,I am going to be attending the morning's church service and the Holy Bible study class before it.I am also hoping to get around to doing my laundry in the afternoon.
That was my day today and my hopes and plans for the day ahead.FJ