Tonight,my road to recovery continues,though it is still a rocky road.I had a pretty good day.
Today,I woke up in the early morning and I bathed.After my bath,I had my usual breakfast and 2 cups of coffee.After that,I did my personal PC work and I got dressed to proceed to get on with the rest of my day.
I had only a few things planned today.I first went to the bank to withdraw some money for myself and afterwards,I went home to register the bills.After that,I headed downtown to the hospital for my appointment with the nurse practitioner.
The session went well.After that was over,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I relaxed and watched a little TV.
Later on,I went back out to get dinner for me and my mom.My mom and I had a submarine sandwich each from Subway.The sandwich was delicious.After eating,I watched the evening news for a while and I did some more personal PC work.Overall,a pretty good day.
My recovery continues onward though the road is still a rocky one.I am still having to put up with bipolar depression and it's symptoms.I have to continually put up with the emotional roller coaster ride that goes with the territory of having bipolar depression.It is never an easy thing to deal with.Aside from this,I also have to put up with schizophrenic tendencies alongside the bipolar depression and that even makes it more difficult.It also makes the healing process from SSA also more difficult.The only things that I can do is continue to attend my therapy sessions and to continue taking my medication as directed.I just hope continually that my recovery will start to improve very soon.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I was again tempted in the wee early morning hours when I was awakened by an erection.I was tempted to grab my genitals and masturbate the erection away as that was my old way of dealing with this.But now,my priorities have changed as I don't want to masturbate anymore.Masturbation will only reinforce the Homosexual identity as masturbation is a form of acting out on my desires whether it is emotional,sexual or both.Masturbation will also never give me what I want and need,such as the affirmation of my gender identity and the feelings of authenticity that go with that affirmation.It is really becoming difficult to resist the temptation to masturbate because an erection,especially one that you get in the wee early morning hours that wakes anyone out of a deep sleep.Plus,sexual thoughts of men can sometimes cloud my mind as a result of me having that erection.I have been applying the advice given to me by a follower,but I am still open to anymore suggestions or ideas as to how I can continue to resist the temptation to act out by masturbating.Thanks in advance for any help.
Tomorrow,I have an appointment with my eye doctor.Aside from that,I have no other plans.But whatever I choose to do,I hope that it gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes and plans for the day ahead.FJ