Tonight,my road to recovery continues onward,though still rocky.I had a very good and eventful day today.
Today,I woke up in the early morning and I bathed.After my bath,I had my breakfast and had three cups of coffee to wake me up as I was still feeling sleepy.After breakfast,I got dressed up in a suit and headed for church for the morning's Holy Bible study class and the worship service afterwards.
Both the class and the service went wonderfully.After some fellowship with everyone afterwards,I headed for home.
On the way home,I stopped at a gas station to get some gas in my tank.After that,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I got out of my suit and into a pair of sweatpants.I did my personal PC work after that.After that was done,I had a light lunch and decided to relax for a while.
While relaxing,I popped a DVD in and I continued relaxing.
After eating,I watched the evening news for a while and I also did some more personal PC work.Overall,a very good and eventful day.
My recovery continues onward despite the road being rocky.It all shows that the struggle to deal with the symptoms of bipolar depression is really a very difficult one indeed.I never know how my mood will be one day or the other.I don't know if I will be up one day or if I will be down the other day.It is simply an emotional roller coaster ride that keeps going on a continuous cycle.Aside from the bipolar depression,I also have to deal and even struggle with the schizophrenic tendencies that I also have alongside.It is really a struggle to stay focused on reality and also,to stay focused on what is around you.I do at times hear things that nobody else hears like footsteps,my name being called by others who aren't there or just trying to say something negative or when it wants to engage you in conversation.It is really a tough thing.The only thing that I can continue to do is continue attending my therapy sessions and continue taking my medication as directed.I am still holding onto the hope that my recovery will start improving very soon.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I was again tempted to masturbate in the wee early morning hours when I was awakened by an erection.It was also another throbbing one as well.I had to really and aggressively fight this temptation as it was really a very difficult one to resist.I had to really and aggressively toss and turn around until the erection died down.An few hours later,I had to get up to bathe anyway to get ready to go to church,so I just slept soundly until then.Though I escaped this episode,I still have to keep in mind that the temptation to act out in other ways,other than seeking male partners to act out with,can rear it's ugly head when least expected.I will just have to keep fighting the temptation and to continue to stay strong when the temptation to act out in any way,shape or form comes around.Though I have gotten a very good suggestion from a follower,I am still open to any other suggestions,advice and/or ideas on how I can continue to resist.Thanks to all who help.
Tomorrow,I have a group meeting that I must attend.Aside from that,I have no other plans.But whatever I do,I hope that it gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes and plans for the day ahead.FJ