Tonight,my road to recovery continues,though still rocky.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I woke up in the early morning and I bathed.After my bath,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I did my personal PC work and I got dressed.I proceeded to get on with the rest of my day.
I really didn't have too much to do today.I only had a little bit to take care of.I headed over to the local K-Mart to pick up a few things that I needed.After paying for those items,I headed over to the local Wal-Mart to pick up some much needed stuff.After paying for those items,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I put everything away in their proper places and I relaxed for a while.
After eating,I watched the evening news for a while and I also did some more personal PC work followed by some required Holy Bible reading.Overall,a pretty good day.
My recovery continues to go forward and it is a rocky road at that.Then again,it's not easy dealing and struggling with the symptoms of bipolar depression(BPD).I have to continually put up with the emotional roller coaster ride that goes with the territory of having BPD.I don't know if my mood will be up or if it will be down.It is always a constant struggle to stay afloat and the mood swings never make it any easier.I also have to put up with the schizophrenic tendencies that I also have alongside the BPD.I have to always put up with hearing things that nobody else hears,such as footsteps,voices calling my name or saying something else and other things connected with that.The only things that I can do is to continue my therapy sessions and continue taking my medication as directed.I am still remaining hopeful that my recovery will start improving soon.
Regarding my SSA struggles,these haven't been any easier either.In the wee early morning hours,I was again awakened by another erection that was also another throbbing one.I was tempted to masturbate it away like you wouldn't believe.Like most of the last ones that I had,tossing and turning wasn't working.So,I got up to walk for about a minute and the erection died down.I also had to go to the bathroom and after finishing,I laid back down.Still,I also had the temptation to manipulate my genitals for the purpose of getting them erect or near erect for the purpose of masturbation and I did give into that,but I stopped when I realized what I was doing.It is just that I have so much energy that I should be using,but I really don't know how to use it.I know that there will be many people who will tell me to try exercising,but I have a bad bone spur in my right foot and that limits my physical abilities as when I try to walk long miles,the pain just gets worse.I also,at the moment,can't afford to join a gym or any fitness clubs.I would like to try that,but because of that one physical thing wrong with me,I can't do much.I would like to get those expensive supplements that I can buy online,but they are very expensive.I will just have to hang in there and wait until I can afford them.In the meantime,I will just have to keep on fighting and keep working on my strength to resist the temptation to masturbate when it comes either way.I also have to keep fighting the temptation to act out in other ways aside from seeking male partners out to act out with,such as the aforementioned masturbation,fantasies,porn and all other sorts of psychological acting out.Though I have received one bot of advice from a follower and though I am putting it into practice,I am still open to any other suggestions or advice.If anyone else who follows or just happens to find this blog and read the posts,please share what has worked for you.Thanks in advance.
Tomorrow,I have a spirituality group that I must attend.After that,I have no other plans.But whatever I choose to do,I hope that it gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes and plans for the day ahead.FJ