Tonight,my road to recovery continues,though still rough.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I managed to wake up in the early morning and I bathed.After my bath,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I got dressed to proceed with the rest of the day as I had quite a few things planned.
I first had to go to the repair garage to get my electronic sensor replaced to turn off the Check Engine light.After that was done,I headed over to a local supermarket to pick up a few things needed for dinner.After paying for those articles,I headed over to the local K-Mart to pick up some personal items.After paying for those items,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I put all the stuff away in their proper places and afterwards,I did my personal PC work.
After my PC work was done,I headed back out again to pick up a can of Spaghettios from a local Dollar Tree store.I headed straight home after paying for it.
After getting home,I heated up the can in the microwave and that was my lunch.After cleaning the dish,I headed back out again to get a light snack at another local supermarket and after that,I stopped at a local 7-Eleven to pick up something to drink.After eating the snack and finishing the drink in the car,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I got ready for my meeting with the church pastor and I was looking forward to this with a lot of positive anticipation and enthusiasm as I usually do.
The meeting went wonderfully well.After it was over,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I relaxed and watched a little TV.
After eating,I watched the evening news for a while and I did some more personal PC work,alongside some recommended Holy Bible reading.Overall,a pretty good day.
My road to recovery continues to move through,though the road is still a rocky one indeed.Then again,when one,like myself,struggles with the BPD and it's symptoms and the emotional roller coaster ride that goes with it.It is usually a very difficult thing to deal and struggle with.One day,I could be up and feeling good,but the next day,down and feeling not so good.At times,it happens in one day where one minute I can be feeling good,but the next minute,feeling not so good.Aside from that emotional roller coaster ride,I also have to put up with the schizophrenic tendencies that I have alongside the BPD and that makes it even more difficult.It also doesn't make my struggles with SSA any easier.I will continue my therapy sessions and I will continue taking my medication as directed.I am hoping that one of these days,my recovery will start improving and I will be feeling good for quite a while.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I was again tempted to masturbate in the wee early morning hours when I was awakened by another throbbing erection.The temptation to masturbate it away was really overwhelming and it was also stronger than yesterday's temptation.This time,I simply turned to my right and the erection died down and I fell back asleep.Though I escaped this episode,I still have to keep in mind that the temptation to act out on these unnatural desires can rear it's ugly head when least expected.I also have to continue to keep in mind that acting out,no matter what form it is,will never give me what I truly need and want.Acting out will only reinforce the Homosexual identity,which is the identity that I am trying to escape and distance myself from.I still get tempted,on a daily basis,to go out and seek other men for the purpose of acting out sexually with them,but I simply stay home and choose not to feed or even satisfy this temptation.The road to overcoming SSA is a very difficult one indeed.I am still seeking advice from people who follow my blog on what has worked for them and how and why it worked.I am still applying the advice that a fellow follower gave,but I am still open to any new suggestions or advice.Thanks in advance for anything offered.
As for the weekend,with the exception of attending church,which includes attending the Holy Bible study class before the worship service,I haven't really made any plans.But whatever I choose to do,I hope that the benefits that it gives me are positive.
That was my day today and my hopes and plans for the weekend ahead.FJ