Tonight,my road to recovery continues to go forward,despite the road being rough and rocky.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I woke up in the early morning and I bathed.After my bath,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I did my personal PC work and after that was done,I got dressed to proceed with the rest of my day.
I first had to run an errand for my mom.I had to stop at a local supermarket to pick up a few things that my mom needed.After paying for those items,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I relaxed for a bit and popped a DVD in the DVD player and watched it.
As the afternoon progressed,I went to get ready for my appointment with my sexual abuse support counselor.I had a lot to talk about with her as it has been several weeks since I last spoke with her.I had quite a lot on my mind and I wanted to get it out in the open.
The meeting with her went well as expected and after the meeting was over,I headed for home.
On the way home,I stopped at a local laundromat to pick up some laundry for my mom.After paying for the laundry,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I put the laundry away and I relaxed and took it easy for a while.
After eating,I watched the evening news for a while and I did some more personal PC work.Overall,a pretty good day.
While my road to recovery continues to move forward,the road is still a very rough and rocky one at that.As someone who suffers from BPD,I have to continually put up with the symptoms of this and also,the continuous emotional roller coaster ride that I constantly on.I don't know if I will be up and feeling good or if I will be down and not so good.At times,it all happens within the same day as I could be up one minute and down the next minute.Aside from that,I also have to put up with the schizophrenic tendencies that I have alongside the BPD,which makes it even more difficult.It also doesn't make my struggles with SSA any easier at all.I will still continue my therapy sessions.I will also continue taking my medication as directed.I am still holding onto the hope that one of these days,my recovery will start improving and I will feel good for a while rather than this constant and continuous emotional roller coaster ride that I am usually on.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I was one again tempted to masturbate in the wee early morning hours when yet another erection woke me up out of a deep sleep.This was also another throbbing erection as well and the temptation to masturbate it away was really overwhelming.I had to really use up all of my strength to really resist this temptation.I tried to toss and turn,but it still wouldn't soften.Suddenly,I felt that I had to use the bathroom and I got up to head for the bathroom and as I was walking there,the erection softened.After using the bathroom,I went back to sleep.Though I escaped this particular episode,I have to continually kep in mind that the temptation act out on these unnatural desires,no matter what form it is,can rear it's ugly head when least expected.I am tempted on a daily basis to act out on these unnatural desires that I have,with the most common temptation being that I get tempted to go out and seek out other men for the purposes of indulging in sinful and inappropriate sexual activity with them,but I simply and willfully choose to stay home whenever that particular temptation comes around.The other temptations that I get are to watch porn and also,to masturbate,including the temptation to manipulate my genitals for the purpose of getting them erect or near erect for the purpose of masturbation.Those latter aforementioned temptations are my main problem areas.Again,I have seen that there are people who do read and visit my blog frequently,but usually,nobody leaves a kind word or two to help me.If anyone out there stops by or regularly checks my blog here,please leave an encouraging word or two so I can keep going.Please advise me on how I can stay strong whenever temptation rears it's ugly head at me.Anything in the form of advice and/or suggestions are always appreciated and they are also welcomed.I will try to use them to the best of my strength and ability.Thanks so much in advance.
As for tomorrow,I have made no plans.But whatever I do,I hope that it gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes for the day ahead.FJ