Tonight,my road to recovery continues,though still rough and rocky.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I woke up in the mid morning and I bathed.After my bath,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I hurriedly did my personal PC work and I got dressed as I had only a few things on my agenda today.
I first went to the bank to withdraw some money for my mom.After that,I headed over to the public library to print an e-mail that was sent to me by someone that I have been conversing with.After that was done,I headed over to a local supermarket to pick up a few things there.After paying for those things,I headed over to the local Super Wal-Mart to pick up one last thing.After paying for that,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I relaxed a bit while getting ready for my meeting with the pastor of the church.When the time to head there had come,I headed over there with a lot of positive anticipation and enthusiasm.
The meeting was wonderful.After meeting with him,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I relaxed for a while and watched a little bit of TV.
After eating,I watched the evening news for a while and I did some more personal PC work.Overall,a pretty good day.
My road to recovery continues,though the road is still rough and rocky.Then again,when somebody,such as myself,struggles with BPD,it is never an easy thing.I have to continually put up with the emotional roller coaster ride that goes with the territory of having BPD.I don't if I will be up and feeling good or if I will be down and feeling not so good.At times,it all happens on the same day.Aside from BPD,I have to put up with the schizophrenic tendencies that I also have alongside BPD.It really makes my recovery even more difficult.It also doesn't make my struggles with SSA any easier at all.The only things that I can do is continue to attend my therapy sessions and continue taking my medication as directed.I am still holding onto the hope that I will start to feel good and continue feeling good for a while rather than this emotional roller coaster ride that I am on constantly.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I was again tempted to masturbate in the wee early morning hours when I was awakened by another erection that was also another throbbing one.I had to really use all of my strength to fight and resist this current temptation as it was a really overwhelming one.After my last falls,I didn't want to fall again.I simply got up and took a short walk and went back to sleep after the erection died down.Though I did escape this episode,I still have to keep in mind that the temptation to act out on these unnatural desires that I have,no matter what form of acting out it is,can rear it's ugly head when least expected.I am always in a fight to resist any temptations when they come.Aside from masturbation,I also get tempted to watch porn on a daily basis and that is another problem area of mine.I still get tempted to go out and seek out other men for the purpose of indulging in sinful sexual activity with them,but again,I simply choose to stay home rather than go out and give into that particular temptation.The other aforementioned ones are really the most difficult ones for me as I get these temptations every day and it is never easy to resist as the lure to watch pornography is a really strong one and even the craving to masturbate is also as strong as the lure to watch pornography.Again,I get many readers to my blog,but nobody really leaves anything encouraging or helpful.Please,anyone who does visit my blog,leave anything that will encourage or help me to resist these temptations and to stay strong in my fight to resist them.Please leave a little advice and/or any suggestions that could help me.Thanks in advance for doing so.
As for tomorrow,I have made no plans.But whatever I choose to do,I hope that it gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes for the day ahead.FJ