Tonight,my road to recovery continues onward,though the road is still a rough and rocky one.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I woke up in the mid morning and I bathed.After my bath,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I did my personal PC work and I got dressed.I proceeded to get on with the rest of my day.
I first went to my weekly spirituality group and I was looking forward to this.I had high hopes and positive anticipation.I headed over there and again,I was looking forward to it.
The group meeting was wonderful.After it was over,I headed over to a local kitchen for my lunch.After lunch,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I popped a DVD in the DVD player and relaxed while watching the movie.
After eating,I watched the evening news for a while and I did some more personal PC work.Overall,a pretty good day.
While my road to recovery continues onward,it is still a rough and rocky road at that.On a daily basis,I have to put up and struggle with the symptoms of BPD and the emotional roller coaster ride that I am continuously on.I don't if I will be up and feeling good or down and not so good.It also happens within the same day at times.I also have schizophrenic tendencies and that my struggle with BPD even more difficult.It also doesn't make my SSA struggles any easier.I will still continue with my therapy sessions and I will continue taking my medication as directed.I am hoping that my recovery will start improving and I will be feeling good for a while instead of this constant emotional roller coaster ride that I am usually on.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I gave into temptation in the wee early morning hours when I masturbated an erection away.It really made me feel terrible and it also made me feel like a failure because I really want to overcome SSA and be the whole man that I want to be and the whole man that God wants me to be.I still get tempted to go out and seek out other men for the purpose of indulging in sinful sexual activity with them,but as I have stated before,I simply choose to stay home and not feed nor satisfy that temptation.I also still get tempted to watch porn day in and day out and that temptation at times can get really overwhelming,in as much the same way that the temptation to act out by masturbation can get really overwhelming.I again appeal to those who stop by my blog to check out my posts and give me some much needed advice and encouragement.People do visit and check out my posts here,but nobody ever leaves anything.Please leave something that can help me,such as advice and/or suggestions on how I can stay strong whenever any temptations to act out,no matter what form of acting out it is,rear their ugly heads when least expected.Please help me.I am really desperate here.Thanks in advance for anything offered.
Tomorrow afternoon,I have a meeting with the pastor of the church.As for much of the day before and after,I have nothing else planned.But I am hoping that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes and plans for the day ahead.FJ