Tonight,my road to recovery continues onward.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I woke up in the early morning and I bathed.After my bath,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I got dressed to head out to the garage to get my oil changed.When I got there,I waited twenty minutes and after the oil change was completed,I paid them and I headed straight home.
When I got home,I simply went back to sleep as I was still feeling tired and sleepy.I set the alarm for a certain time,but woke up several minutes before the alarm was supposed to go off as a result of me having to use the bathroom.
After using the bathroom,I settled in to get my personal PC work done.After that was done,I headed over to a local supermarket to pick up a few things.After paying for all of those things,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I put all the groceries away and I relaxed while watching a DVD that I popped into the DVD player.
I also had one other thing that I needed to attend to today.I had an appointment to meet with the pastor of the church to continue our weekly one on one studies that we have been having.The study went great and after it was over,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I simply relaxed and watched a little TV.
After eating,I watched the evening news and I did some more personal PC work.Overall,a pretty good day.
My road to recovery continues to go forward.But my struggles with BPD make the recovery more difficult.I have to put up with the emotional roller coaster ride that goes with the territory of having BPD and I also have to put up with the schizophrenic tendencies that I have alongside the BPD and that makes the struggle even more difficult.I will still continue my therapy sessions and I will also continue taking my medication as directed.While the struggle with BPD and having schizophrenic tendencies alongside that is a difficult one,I still rely on God and his son Jesus Christ whenever the struggle seems to feel unbearable.It doesn't make the struggle any easier,but it does make me feel more at ease a little bit.I have to continually rely on them more rather than on my own strength to keep me going.I also have to put up with random obsessive thoughts,but with God and his son Jesus Christ taking over,they simply disappear once I talk to them about these thoughts.It is wonderful to rely on them more and also,to see that they are leading the way makes me feel a little bit better.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I was again tempted twice to masturbate.Once in the wee early morning hours when I was awakened by an erection out of a deep sleep and another time when I was taking that nap when I got home when images of men without their clothes on started to cloud my mind.With both of these,I simply got up and the erections started to soften and since I had to use the bathroom at both instances,I simply went back to sleep after I was finished.Though I escaped these episodes,I still have to continually keep in mind that the temptation to act out on these unnatural desires that I have,no matter form of acting out it is,can rear it's ugly head when least expected.It is not a very pleasant thing to put up with or have,but it does happen.I want to do the right thing,but my sinful nature wants me to do the opposite.When these situations do happen when they do,I can always rely on God and his son Jesus Christ to get me through any temptations when they happen.It is great that I don't have to go it alone or rely more on my own strength to get through any of these things.I have God and Jesus Christ leading the way and all I need to do is tell God about the temptations when they happen as I throw the temptations on him and he gets me through the temptations and I feel better when I do.I just have to keep on doing that and have the take the lead and lead me out of the ugliness of those temptations.Thanks again to God and his son Jesus Christ for all of their help and for being there for me.
As for tomorrow,I have made no plans.But whatever I do,I hope that it gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes for the day ahead.FJ