Tonight,my road to recovery continues to go forward.I had a wonderful and eventful day today.
Today,I woke up in the early morning and I bathed quickly.After my bath,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I immediately got dressed up in a suit and I headed over to church for the Holy Bible study class and the worship service afterwards.
Both the study class and worship service were wonderful.After some wonderful fellowship with the people,I headed for home.
On the way home,I stopped at a local gas station to get some gas.After that was done,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I got out of my suit and I did my personal PC work.I wanted to get home as it was a really hot,hazy and humid day.After my personal PC work was done,I relaxed and I popped a DVD into the DVD player and I watched it while relaxing.I also watched another one.
After eating,I watched the evening news for a while and I did some more personal PC work.Overall,a wonderful and eventful day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading in as well.For me,going to church always makes the day eventful.
My recovery continues to go forward.Still,I have to continue putting up with the symptoms of BPD and the struggle gets even more difficult day after day.I am usually on an emotional roller coaster ride that can go from bad to worse.I also have schizophrenic tendencies alongside the BPD and that makes it even more difficult.But as I said before and I will say again,I have God to look after me and I simply throw these things on him in the name of his son Jesus Christ and when I do,I feel better.I still take my medication and I still attend my therapy sessions.But I also have to rely on God and Jesus Christ to get me through the roller coaster rides and also,when the schizophrenic tendencies at times seem to be too much to be bearable and to handle.I feel better and it does ease it a little bit.It is still difficult,but God and his son Jesus Christ make it a tad easier.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I was again tempted to masturbate in the wee early morning hours when I was awakened by yet another erection.It was really yet another overwhelming urge and I really had to use my strength to fight this temptation.I simply got up and walked until the erection softened.I simply went back to sleep when it did.But later on,during the Holy Bible study class at church,images of naked men and immoral sexual images began to cloud up my mind.When I could,I immediately went into the restroom and quietly prayed to God in the name of his son Jesus Christ and simply put the temptation in his hands and asked him to help clear my mind of anything immoral and sexually impure regarding men and after the prayer was over,I felt much better and I immediately joined everyone in the chapel for the worship service.Though I escaped these episodes,I have to continually keep in mind that the temptations to act out on these unnatural desires that I have,no matter what form of acting out it is,can rear it's ugly head when least expected.I just have to keep relying on God through his son Jesus Christ to get me through all the temptations that come to take over me constantly.I just throw it on God and ask in his son Jesus Christ's name to take it away and after the prayer is over,I feel better and it is now history.I feel better now that I can rely more on God whenever these temptations come around and afterwards,I can forget about them.If it happens again after the first one,I just pray again and it is all over.Thanks to God and Jesus Christ for being there and getting me through these difficult spells.Without them,I would be lost and would be committing sinful acts knowing the truth.Thanks again God and Jesus Christ.
Tomorrow,I have my usual improving self esteem group.Aside from that,I have nothing else planned.But whatever I choose to do,I hope that it gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes and plans for the day ahead.FJ