Tonight,my road to recovery continues onward.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I woke up in the mid morning and I bathed.After my bath,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After my bath,I did my personal PC work and I got dressed to proceed with the rest of the day.
I had only a few things on my agenda.I first went to the Best Buy in the next county to pay my credit card bill.After that was done,I headed over to a nearby supermarket to pick up something that my mom wanted me to pick up.After paying for that item,I headed straight home,but stopped on the way to get some gas.
When I got home,I relaxed and I popped a DVD in the DVD player and watched it.
After eating,I watched the evening news for a while and I did some more personal PC work.Overall,a pretty good day.
While my recovery continues to move onward,I am still having to deal and struggle with the symptoms of BPD and the emotional roller coaster ride that goes with it.It is always a never ending struggle as I go day to day with these symptoms and the roller coaster ride that goes with them.Aside from that,I also have schizophrenic tendencies that make the struggle even more difficult.Though the struggle is a difficult one,I know that I can continually rely on God and his son Jesus Christ to get me through it all.Their help in all of this and them taking the lead eases my mind in all of this.It doesn't make it easier,but it does show me that I am not alone in my struggle as they are there to help me whenever I really need it.I still continue my therapy sessions and I am continuing to take my medication as directed,but I still rely on God and Christ more while following the orders of the medical people at the same time.It is just wonderful that I have God and Christ there to help me get through any struggles.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I was again tempted to masturbate in the wee early morning hours when I was awakened by another erection out of a deep sleep.I had to really fight this temptation as it was a very overwhelming one.I simply got up and used the bathroom because I really needed to use it and as I was doing that,the erection died down and I simply went back to sleep after I was finished.Though I escaped this episode,I still have to keep in mind that the temptation to act out on these unnatural desires,no matter form it is,can rear it's ugly head when least expected.It can take any form,such as fantasies,the temptation to seek out other men for the purpose of indulging in sinful sexual activity with them or it could be simply masturbating emotionally or as a reliever when the temptation to indulge in fantasies comes around or it can also take the form of looking at porn of all sorts.The SSA struggle is a very difficult one at that and I am learning this on a day to day basis.Still,I do rely on God whenever that happens.I know that if I do indeed give into the temptation,all I do is ask God to forgive me whenever that happens and after that,I can forget it.I am still in the learning process of this and I am also still learning on how not to beat myself up when I fall or fail.I am an imperfect human being as much as any other human being is and I know that God expects me to do the best that I can despite that imperfection,but I do fail or fall from time to time and I know that God is there to forgive me in the name of his son Jesus Christ.I also ask God for help in not to beat myself up over failing or falling and I know that he is there to do that.Still,those who do visit my blog from time to time,I would appreciate a prayer of two from all of you as they will help keep me going.Thanks in advance for prayers said.
Tomorrow,it will be church as usual alongside the Holy Bible study class alongside it.As for the rest of the day,I have no plans.But whatever I choose to do,I hope that it gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes and plans for the day ahead.FJ