Tonight,my road to recovery continues to go forward.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I woke up in the early morning,after helping my mom out,and I bathed.After my bath,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After that,I hurriedly did my personal PC work and I got dressed to proceed with the rest of the day.
I had some things on my agenda today.I first went to my usual Thursday spirituality group and I was looking forward to that group with a lot of positive anticipation and enthusiasm.
The group meeting was wonderful.After it was all over,I headed over to a local kitchen to have myself some lunch and after I was finished,I headed for home.
On the way home,I stopped to check on a couple of friends to see how they were doing.After spending a few minutes with them,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I helped out with some more cleaning up around the house.There was still a lot to get done.
After eating,I watched the evening news for a while and I did some more personal PC work.Overall,a pretty good day.
While my recovery continues to go forward,I am still,on a daily basis,dealing and struggling with the symptoms of BPD and the emotional roller coaster ride that goes with the territory of having BPD.I never know how my mood will be from day to day or at times,from moment to moment.I never know if I will be up and feeling good or down and not so good.It is just an endless cycle of things.Aside from that,I also have schizophrenic tendencies and that makes it even more difficult.I have to also continually put up with hearing things that other people don't hear.I am still attending my therapy sessions and I am continuing to take my medication as directed.I am also continuing to rely on God and his son Jesus Christ more whenever this struggle seems to get out of hand.I simply talk to them about it and after that,I feel a little bit better.The struggle with BPD and schizophrenic tendencies is a difficult struggle indeed,but I am managing.Thanks to both God and Christ for everything.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I was again tempted to masturbate in the wee early morning hours when I was awakened by yet another throbbing erection.The urge to masturbate was really overwhelming and I had to use all of my strength to fight and resist this temptation.I simply sat up and I didn't lay back down until the erection died down.Though I escaped this episode,I still have to keep in mind that the temptation to act out on these unnatural desires that I have can rear it's ugly head when least expected.I am always in a constant battle over these desires and my desire to do the right thing in God's eyes.I want to always do the right thing,but these unnatural desires that I have want me to indulge in sinful sexual activity.Still,I am relying on God and his son Jesus Christ more whenever the struggles seems way too unbearable to handle.Whenever I get tempted,I simply take it to both God and Christ in prayer and after that,the temptation is nil.I do it whenever temptation comes around.After throwing it on both God and Christ,I feel better and I can move on with the rest of the day.If I get tempted again before the day is through,I simply throw it again on both God and Christ and it is again nil.If I do give into temptation,I simply ask God in the name of his son Jesus Christ to forgive me and I feel better.Thanks to both God and Christ for all of their help.
Tomorrow,I have an appointment with the pastor to continue my studies with him.As for the rest of the day,I have no other plans.But whatever I do,I hope that it gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes and plans for the day ahead.FJ