Tonight,my road to recovery continues onward.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I woke up in the late morning and I bathed.After my bath,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast and in between helping out my mom,I did my personal PC work and I got dressed to proceed with the rest of the day as I had some important stuff that I needed to do.
I first went to a local supermarket to pick up a few things that I needed.After that,I headed over to a local shopping mall for a few other things.After that was done,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I put everything that I bought away and I got ready for my appointment with the pastor for our personal one on one studies.I headed over there with a lot of positive anticipation and enthusiasm.
The study session went great.After it was over,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I relaxed only for a short spell.
After eating,I watched the evening news for a while and I did some more personal PC work.Overall,a pretty good day.
My recovery is moving onward,but it is still a rough and rocky road ahead.I am still,on a daily basis,dealing and struggling with BPD and the emotional roller coaster rode that goes with it.It is a constant fight and struggle that I deal and struggle with,but I am still hanging in there.I don't know if I will be up and feeling good or down and not so good.It sometimes happens all on the same day.Aside from that,I also have schizophrenic tendencies and that makes the struggle even more difficult.It also makes my struggles with SSA even more difficult.I still attend my therapy sessions.I still take my medication as directed.I am still relying on God and his son Jesus Christ more whenever the struggle seems to be feeling to unbearable to endure.With them,I simply throw it on them and I feel a little bit better.It is a matter of having them take over and sustaining me.Thanks to both of them for all their help and direction.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I gave into temptation by masturbating two consecutive times over the last 12 hours.I gave into it late last night and in the wee early morning hours today.It was a combination of emotional and sexual images of men clouding my mind.On both of these occasions,I asked God in the name of his son Jesus Christ to forgive me for falling on both of these occasions and after begging God for his mercy and forgiveness as a result of my falling,I did feel better as the slate is wiped clean.I have really been tempted as of late as a result of all the stress that has been happening in my life at this moment.My mom getting hurt,my sisters taking over the house like Grant took Richmond when it comes to getting the house cleaned up for our conveniences and everything else that has been happening.I was really sorry for falling on both of these occasions.I have to really start getting serious about this and make it a habit of taking this God and Christ whenever temptations starts to rear it's ugly head when least expected.I have to make that a habit or else I will be falling constantly.I hate it when I fail as I at times feel that I am not doing enough to resist these temptations.I ask for prayers by those who are reading and following this blog of mine.They are always appreciated.I really need prayers right now.I am struggling and getting tempted like crazy.Thanks in advance for all the prayers offered.
As for the weekend,with the exception of church,I have made no plans.But I am hoping that whatever I choose to gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes and plans for the day ahead.FJ