Tonight,my road to recovery continues to go forward.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,in between helping my mom to and from the bathroom,I woke up in the mid morning and I bathed.After my bath,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I did my personal PC work and I got dressed to proceed with the rest of the day as I had some stuff planned.
I stayed at home for much of the afternoon as my niece,who only spent a few minutes here at home with my mom and I,went to do some stuff for us.I stayed home and hung out and continued helping my mom out with various things around the house until my niece came back later on in the day.
When she did,I headed over to my appointment with the pastor to have our last one on one study session to reinstate me as a member of the church.I went over there with a lot of positive anticipation and enthusiasm.
The session went great.After some small talk,I headed for home.
On the way home,I stopped at the local Super Wal-Mart to pick up a few things.After paying for those items,I headed over to the bank to withdraw some money.After that,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I relaxed for a short spell.
After eating,I watched the evening news for a while and I did some more personal PC work.Overall,a pretty good day.
While my recovery continues to go forward,I am still,on a daily basis,dealing and struggling with the symptoms of BPD and the emotional roller coaster ride that goes with the territory of having BPD.I never know how my mood will be from one day to the next,or from one minute to the next.It is a very difficult thing to deal with.I also have schizophrenic tendencies and that makes my struggle with BPD even more difficult.I will still continue with my therapy sessions and I will continue to take my medication as directed.I am still going to continue to rely on God and his son Jesus Christ more whenever the struggle seems to get too difficult or seemingly too impossible to handle.I simply take it to God in the name of his son Jesus Christ and they help sustain me.This shows that I am not alone in my recovery and that is wonderful.It also makes the struggle a tad easier when I rely on God and Christ more.Thanks to both of them for everything that they do.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I was again tempted in the wee early morning hours when I was awakened by yet another throbbing erection.I really had to use all of my own strength to fight and resist this current temptation.I simply sat up for a while and as I was sitting up,the erection died down and I simply went back to sleep afterwards.Though I escaped this episode,I still have to keep in mind that the temptation to act out on these unnatural desires that I have,no matter what form it might be,can rear it's ugly head when least expected.I am always in a constant fight with these unnatural desires that I have to resist the temptation to act out on them.I am also still having a problem with manipulating my genitals for the purpose of getting them erect or near erect for masturbatory purposes and I still would love to stop doing that.I am so used to doing that since I was younger and now,it has become an unclean,stubborn and disgusting habit that I can't seem to stop.I am always yearning for people to help me with this.I want to know what has worked for you whenever this craving comes around.Please share and I will try to use it to the best of my abilities.I will also continue to rely on God and his son Jesus Christ more whenever these temptations come around.I will simply throw the temptation on God in the name of son Jesus Christ and after that,the temptation is reduced to nil.If I do give into any temptation,I simply ask God in the name of his son Jesus Christ to forgive me for doing so and after that,the slate is wiped clean and it is forgotten by God.While doing that,I also yearn for prayers by those who follow this blog and for any helpful advice given.Thanks in advance for any prayers and advice offered and also,Thanks to both God and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do.
As for the weekend,with the exception of church on Sunday,I have made no plans.But I am hoping that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes and plans for the weekend ahead.FJ