Tonight,my road to recovery continues onward.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I woke up in the early morning,but had to help my mom to the bathroom and back to her room.After that,I went back to sleep and didn't get back up until later on.When I did get up again,I bathed,had my breakfast and did at least some or my personal PC work.After that,when my niece came over,I headed over to my Monday afternoon group and was looking forward to that.
The group went great.After it was over,I headed for home.
On the way home,I stopped at the local K-Mart to pick up a few things.After paying for those,I headed over to the local Super Wal-Mart to pick up quite a few more things.After paying for those,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I relaxed and finished my personal PC work.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done.
After eating,I watched the evening news for a while and I did some more personal PC work.I also helped out around the house with more cleaning up.Overall,a pretty good day.
While my road to recovery continues onward,I am still,on a daily basis,dealing and struggling with the symptoms of BPD and the emotional roller coaster ride that goes with the territory of having BPD.I never know how my mood will be day after day or minute after minute.I never know if I will be up and feeling good or down and not so good.I also have schizophrenic tendencies and that makes it even more difficult.It also makes my struggles even tougher.I still attend my therapy sessions.I am also still taking my medication as directed.I am also still relying on God and his son Jesus Christ a lot more than anything else.Whenever the struggle seems to be getting too overwhelming,I simply turn to both of them and they help sustain me.I never have nothing to fear once they are in control.It is still difficult,but I know that I am not enduring alone.Thanks to both of them for everything.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I was again tempted to masturbate in the wee early morning hours when I was awakened by another throbbing erection.I had to get up when my mom called me to help her to the bathroom.After I got her back in bed,I laid back down and went to sleep.Though I escaped this episode,I still have to continually keep in mind that the temptation to act out on these unnatural desires that I have,which can take any form,can rear it's ugly head when least expected.I have to always stay on guard and be watchful as it can come when I don't suspect anything.It is always a difficult thing to endure and I really hate to endure this sort of temptation as the sexual activity connected with SSA is sinful and unacceptable to God.I am still continuing to rely on God and his son Jesus Christ whenever these temptations seem to be way too powerful for me to handle.I simply take it to both God and Christ and after that,I feel better as the temptation is reduced to nil after that.I also have to remember to go to God in the name of his son Jesus Christ whenever I am tempted to look at porn in any way,shape or form or to go out and seek out other men for the purpose of indulging in sinful sexual activity with them.I will have to keep on praying and throwing every temptation on both God and Christ whenever the struggle seems to get way too overwhelming for me to handle.If I do ever give into any temptation,I simply ask God in the name of his son Jesus Christ to forgive me for giving into temptation and after that,the slate is wiped clean and forgotten by both God and Christ.Thanks to both God and Christ for everything that they do.
As for tomorrow,I have no plans.But I am hoping that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes for the day ahead.FJ