Tonight,my road to recovery continues to go forward.I had a very good and eventful day today.
Today,I woke up in the early morning and I bathed.After my bath,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I got dressed up and when my sister,who lives locally,stopped in,I headed for church for the morning's Holy Bible study class and the worship service afterwards.
Both the class and worship service were wonderful.I had some wonderful fellowship before and after the service.After it was all over,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I did my personal PC work and while a friend of the family worked on cleaning the living room and I put my mom back to bed after she took her afternoon medication,I did my personal PC work and after the living room was cleaned,I relaxed and popped a DVD into the DVD player.I also managed to get in some recommended Holy Bible reading in as well.
After eating,I watched the evening news for a while and I did some more personal PC work.Overall,a very good and eventful day.For me,going to church every Sunday always makes the day eventful.
While my road to recovery continues to go forward,I am still,on a daily basis,dealing and struggling with the symptoms of BPD and the emotional roller coaster that goes with it.I never know how my mood will be from day to day,or from one minute to the next.I also have schizophrenic tendencies and that makes my BPD struggles even more difficult.It also makes my SSA struggles even tougher.I am still attending my therapy sessions.I am also continuing to take my medication as directed.I am also continuing to rely on God and his son Jesus Christ more than anything.Whenever the struggle seems way too overwhelming,I simply take it to God and Christ and I feel a tad better.It is simply a matter of letting both God and Christ take the wheel and lead the way.After talking to them and letting take the lead,I do feel a tad better.Thanks to both of them for everything.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I gave into temptation in the early afternoon when I masturbated.Yes,I did.I really felt miserable and I did ask God in the name of his son Jesus Christ to forgive me for falling.I did feel better,but I still have to continually work on fighting and resiting any temptation to act out on these unnatural desires that I have.I know the origin and motivation for the falling.I have been under a lot of stress as of late.My mom getting hurt and being diagnosed with cancer,though fortunately it was caught early and my mom has a 99% chance of recovery,all the negative baloney that I have been getting from my sister's while cleaning the house and also,the forceful and aggressive way that my locally living sister has been with me throughout this whole thing,including shooting me down(so to speak)whenever I try to take the lead in something and also all other things that have been really driving me up the wall and driving me crazy.This is why that my recovery has been rocky and rough as of late as I have a lot on my plate and all the stress and strain of what they family,though meaning well,has been lately.I have to learn to stay strong and cool during all of this as it has also been arousing my anger as of late as well and that also plays a factor in my recovery from SSA.I will really have to continue to rely on God and his son Jesus Christ more whenever these situations go awry and seem to be getting out of control.I really have to continue relying on them to help me stay cool,calm and slow to anger as God is slow to anger(psalm 103:8)and also,to stay focused on my goals to heal and resist any temptation to act out on these unnatural desires that I have.I will have to really start praying hard and really ask them for help in my fights to resist any form of temptation.I am also asking for prayers by those who have been reading and following my blog regularly as they are appreciated.Thanks in advance for them.I really need prayers right now.
Tomorrow,I have my usual Monday afternoon building and improving self esteem group.Aside from that,I have no other plans.But I am hoping that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes and plans for the day ahead.FJ