Tonight,my road to recovery continues.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I woke up in the early morning and I bathed.After my bath,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I did my personal PC work and I got dressed to proceed with the rest of the day.
Today,I had only a couple of things on my agenda.I first went to the drug store to pick up my mom's prescription.After paying for that,I dropped it off at home and decided to get ready for my late afternoon appointment with the doctor to see what the verdict was regarding the blood work that was done a few weeks ago.
The results were very favorable as they said that everything was okay.After that visit with the doctor,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I relaxed and watched a little TV.
After eating,I watched the evening news for a while and I did some more personal PC work.Overall,a pretty good day.
While my recovery continues,I am still having to deal and struggle with the symptoms of BPD and it is never an easy one.I still have to put up with the emotional roller coaster ride that goes with the territory.Sometimes,I wish that I didn't have too be on this emotional roller coaster ride nor even struggle with BPD.I also have schizophrenic tendencies and that makes the recovery even more difficult.I am still attending my therapy sessions and I am still taking my medication as directed.While struggling with mental illness is difficult,I still rely on God whenever the struggle seems unbearable and seems impossible to handle.With God's help and his son Jesus Christ helping along,I have nothing to worry about nor fear.I simply talk to them whenever the struggle might be getting worse and after that,I feel better.With them,everything is possible and though it doesn't make it easier,it makes it more manageable.The more I rely on God and Christ,the better that I feel.Thanks again to both God and Christ.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I was again tempted to masturbate in the wee early morning hours when I was awakened by another throbbing erection.It was yet another overwhelming urge at that.I simply got up and when I did,the erection softened and after using the bathroom,I went back to sleep.Later on,I also started to manipulate my genitals while sexual images of men clouded out my mind,but I stopped myself before it went too far.Though I escaped these episodes,I still have to keep in mind that the temptation to act out on these unnatural desires that I have,no matter what form it can be,can rear it's ugly head when least expected.I have to continually stay on guard and be watchful.I did ask God in the name of his son Jesus Christ to forgive me for what I did later on and I felt better.I also still have to remember to rely on God and Christ more whenever these temptations seem overwhelming and almost out of control.Whenever temptation comes throughout the day,I simply throw it on God and Christ and talk about it and after that,I feel better.With God and Christ,all things are possible.I simply have to keep relying on them and everything will go well.Thanks again to both God and Christ for all of their help.
Tomorrow,I have a spirituality group that I must attend.After that,I have nothing else planned.But whatever I choose to do,I hope that it gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes and plans for the day ahead.FJ