Tonight,my road to recovery continues to move forward.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I woke up in the mid morning and I bathed.After my bath,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I did my personal PC work and I got dressed to proceed with the rest of my day as I had some important stuff planned.
The main thing on my agenda was getting my laundry done.I was originally planning to do it tomorrow,but with the high possibility of a terrible rain storm coming,I decided to do my laundry today.I got all of my clothes ready to do it and after putting my laundry bags in the car,I headed over there.
On the way there,I had to make a few stops.I first stopped at a local closeout bargain outlet store to see if they had some laundry detergent.After buying a bottle,I headed over to the local Super Wal-Mart to pick up a couple of things.After paying for those items,I headed over to the local Sears to pay my monthly credit card bill.After that was paid,I headed for the laundromat to get my laundry done.
When I arrived at the laundromat,I immediately found a washer to use and started my laundry that minute.After it was done in the washer,I dried all of it and folded everything and bagged it all.After that was done,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I relaxed and watched a little TV for a while.
After eating,I watched the evening news for a while and I did some more personal PC work.Overall,a pretty good day.
While my road to recovery moves forward,I am still battling the symptoms of BPD on a daily basis and that is a very difficult thing to struggle with.I am still having to contend with the emotional roller coaster rode that goes with the territory of having BPD.I don't know if I will be up and feeling good or if I will be feeling down and not so good.I also have schizophrenic tendencies and that makes it even more difficult.I am still attending my therapy sessions and I am continuing to take my medication as directed.I am also going to continue relying on God and his son Jesus Christ more whenever the struggle seems way too difficult to handle.I will simply turn to them and after that,it is in their hands and everything is good.I will have to remember to continue doing that more whenever it seems that I am at the end of my road.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I was again tempted to masturbate in the wee early morning hours when I was awakened by another throbbing erection.This was a really overwhelming urge that I was going through and I was really fighting to resist this urge.After failing late Thursday night,I wanted to try and stay strong for this one.I simply went to God and told him about the urge and as I was talking to God,the erection started to soften and I simply got up to use the bathroom.After finishing in there,I simply went back to sleep.Though I escaped this episode,I have to continually stay on guard and be watchful as the temptation to act out on these unnatural desires that I have,no matter what form of acting out it might be,can rear it's ugly head when least expected.I have to continually be on my guard and also,to continue to ask God and his son Jesus Christ for strength to resist the urges.I now know that the more that I rely on God and Christ,the more that I can escape any temptation.I simply turn to them,talk about the temptation to them and after that,it is gone and in their hands.I will keep relying on God and Christ more as I will never be able to fight and resist these urges on my own without them.Thanks again to both God and Christ for that.
Tomorrow,it will be church as usual.For the rest of the day,since there is high possibility of a terrible rain storm,I am just going to stay home and take it easy and possibly watch a movie that I will pop in the DVD player.
That was my day today and my hopes and plans for the day ahead.FJ