Tonight,my road to recovery continues moving forward.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I woke up in the mid morning and I bathed.After my bath,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I did my personal PC work and I got dressed to proceed with the rest of the day.
I first went to visit with my mom at the hospital.After spending some time with her,I headed out to finish what I had to do.
I first went to a local restaurant for a quick lunch and after eating,I headed over to the local Super Wal-Mart to pick up a couple of things.After paying for them,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I put the stuff away and was hoping that my niece would come over and help me get rid of some stuff that needed to be thrown away,but something came up and it couldn't be done.As a result of this change of plans,I relaxed while watching a DVD.
After eating,I watched the evening news for a while and I did some more personal PC work.Overall,a pretty good day.
While my recovery continues moving forward,I am still dealing and struggling with the symptoms of BPD on a daily basis.It is a very difficult thing to struggle with and it is never an easy thing at all.I am usually on a continuous emotional roller coaster ride that happens day after day and at times,it happens all on the same day.I also have schizophrenic tendencies and that makes the struggle even more difficult.But again,I rely on God and his son Jesus whenever the struggle seems to be getting too unbearable to handle.I simply talk to God in the name of his son Jesus Christ and I do feel a tad better.It is still a difficult struggle,but with God and Christ both leading the way,it is a tad easier.It shows that I never have to struggle alone.Thanks to both of them for everything.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I again fell early this morning when I masturbated until ejaculation and it was both emotional and to degrading sexual images of men.When that happened,I asked God in the name of his son Jesus Christ to forgive me for that fall and after I was through praying,I felt better as I now knew that the slate was wiped clean.Lately,sexual images of men have been really clouding my mind and I really don't know why.For quite a while,I didn't have this problem,but now,they seem to be coming back with a vengeance.I think that this is the work of Satan and his minions.I know too much about the truth about Homosexuality that Satan and his minions are using these images to try and woo me back into that sinful sexual lifestyle known as the so called "Gay" lifestyle.I am trying to say to the devil "NO",but the unnatural desires that I have are being used by the devil to try and get me to change my mind about that sinful sexual lifestyle that God abhors and condemns in his sacred word,the Holy Bible,and he is using every evil weapon on me to get me to change my mind.But I must tell that wicked and powerful angel known as Satan that I am going to try and follow God's laws instead of following the world under his control.I fell today,but I have to try and continue to use all of my strength to fight and resist these urges.I have to keep saying to myself:"I am a Heterosexual man with a Homosexual problem".My body is made to be compatible with a female and it is not to be used for anything else that is sinful,immoral and unacceptable.I also have to keep relying on God and his son Jesus Christ for strength to resist these urges and to continue to seek them and their guidance in everything.Thanks to them both for all of their hard work.I am also seeking prayers from those who follow my blog regularly and they are always appreciated.Thanks in advance for all prayers offered and please share a friendly word or two on my blog as an encouragement.A positive comment or two would really make my day,especially when it is encouraging.Thanks again in advance.
Tomorrow,I have a spirituality group that I must attend.I also have plans to have lunch at a local kitchen,mail out an important letter and visit my mom at the hospital.Aside from these things,I have nothing else planned.But I am hoping that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes and plans for the day ahead.FJ