Tonight,my road to recovery continues onward.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I woke up in the mid morning and I bathed.After my bath,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I really didn't have much time,so I got dressed and I headed for my spirituality group.
The group meeting was wonderful.After the group was over,I had a quick lunch courtesy of the program that had the group within it and after eating that,I headed for the post office to mail out something that needed to be mailed out.After that was done,I headed over to the hospital,but my mom wasn't in her room as she went to another place outside the hospital for tests and after waiting some time,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I finally got around to doing my personal PC work and was glad to have gotten it done.After it was finished,I relaxed and watched A DVD while relaxing.In between all of that,I did manage to phone my niece to see how everything was,but they had no real concrete answers as of yet.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done.
After eating,I watched the evening news for a while and I did some more personal PC work.Overall,a pretty good day.
While my recovery continues onward,I am still dealing and struggling with the symptoms of BPD and that is a very difficult thing to struggle with.I have to continually put up with the emotional roller coaster ride that goes with the territory of having BPD and it is never easy.I also have schizophrenic tendencies and that makes it even more difficult.I am still attending my therapy sessions and I am continuing to take my medication as directed.I am also still relying on God more than on my own strength because I would be nowhere without God and his son Jesus Christ leading the way.The struggle with mental illness is always a difficult thing,but relying on God and Christ more makes it only a tad easier.I am going to have to continue relying on God more because without them,the struggle might seem to get too unbearable to handle.Thanks to both God and Christ for everything.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I was again tempted to masturbate in the wee early morning hours when I was awakened by yet another throbbing erection.After I fell yesterday,I didn't want to fall again today as this urge was really overwhelming.I simply turned to God and asked him to keep me strong and to help sustain me in the midst of this temptation.I kept up praying until my penis started to soften and after the prayer,I had to get up and use the bathroom and after I was finished,I went back to sleep.Though I escaped this episode,I still have to keep in mind that the temptation to act out on these unnatural desires that I have,no matter what form it might take or be,can rear it's ugly head when least expected.The temptation to act out can take many forms and I get tempted daily to act out in many ways.Last night,I really had to talk in prayer to God and explain everything to him as I really didn't know why I was being tempted and that I didn't know whether I was coming or going as a result of being tempted constantly.I really poured out my soul to God in the name of his son Jesus Christ and I was almost on the verge of tears when I did that.I did feel better as a result of that and I did sleep pretty good.I have to continually rely on God in the name of his son Jesus Christ more and to keep constantly asking them to keep me strong in the face of temptation.I know that I can't rely on my own as that will make me fail constantly.I will continue to pray and ask for help continuously whenever temptation seems to rear it's ugly head at me.Thanks to both God and Christ for their help.
As for tomorrow,I have made no plans.But whatever I do,I hope that it gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes for the day ahead.FJ