Tonight,my road to recovery,though it will be rocky for a while,is still ongoing.I had a pretty good and eventful day today.
Today,I woke up in the early morning and I bathed.After my bath,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I got dressed up in a suit and I headed for the church for both the Holy Bible study class and the worship service afterwards.
Both the class and the worship service were wonderful.I had some wonderful fellowship and support from everyone in regards to my mom's passing.They all wished me well and the best of success as I now try to learn how to live on my own and handle things the same way.After all of it was over,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I got out of my suit and into some casual clothes and I headed out to the local bargain movie theater to see The Dark Knight Rises.I have been waiting for this movie to come to the local bargain movie theater and I went to see it.
I enjoyed the film as much as I did the other Dark Knight films.I have been a fan of Batman all of my life and I really liked this film.After it was all over,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I relaxed and had some more socializing with my family.The outpouring of support from them and my friends,both online and church,has been very overwhelming.I also managed to get some personal PC work at the same time.
After eating,I watched the evening news and I did some more personal PC work.Overall,a pretty good and eventful day.I also managed to get some Holy Bible reading in as well.For me,going to church on Sunday always makes the day eventful.
While my recovery is still ongoing,I still have to deal with the symptoms of BPD and the struggles that go with the territory of having it,including the emotional roller coaster ride that goes with it.I never know how my mood will be from one day to the next,or,from one minute to the next.I am also dealing with schizophrenic tendencies and that makes the struggle even more difficult.I still attend my therapy sessions and I am still taking my medication as directed.I am also still in the grieving process of losing my mom on Friday and that is also making it more difficult.Then again,I still rely on God and his son Jesus Christ more whenever the struggle seems to be getting too unbearable for me to handle.I simply take it to God in the name of his son Jesus Christ and they help in sustaining me.The recovery is still difficult,but relying on them to sustain me makes it a tad easier.I have nothing to fear and I am not in this alone.Thanks to both God and his son Jesus Christ for everything.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I was again tempted to masturbate in the wee early morning hours when I was awakened by yet another throbbing erection.It was a very overwhelming urge as well.I had to really use all of my strength to fight and resist this temptation.I simply sat up for a few minutes and as I was sitting up,the erection started to soften and after a few minutes,I laid back down and went back to sleep.Though I escaped this episode,I still have to continually keep in mind that the temptation to act out on these unnatural desires that I have,no matter what form it might make itself,can rear it's ugly head when least expected.I am always staying on guard and being watchful as they can take any form.I am always in a fight against these unnatural desires and it is a very difficult fight in itself.Still,whenever it gets too difficult,I am still relying on both God and his son Jesus Christ whenever the temptation seems to be getting too unbearable for me to handle.I simply throw the temptation on God in the name of his son Jesus Christ and the temptation is reduced to nil.If I ever do give into any temptation,I simply ask God in the name of his son Jesus Christ to forgive and after that,God forgives and forgets the sin.I am not alone in this fight and that makes me feel good.Thanks to both God and his son Jesus Christ for everything.
Tomorrow,I have my building and improving self esteem group and later on,the memorial service for my mom.That is all that I have planned.
That was my day today and my hopes and plans for the day ahead.FJ