Tonight,my road to recovery,though still rocky,continues onward.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I woke up in the early morning and I showered.After my shower,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After that,I did my personal PC work and was a little surprised when I saw that I had an internet connection as my mom's old phone account was closed and cancelled,so my own account could be activated.I got my phone number turned on this morning after I checked it after my shower and was surprised to see internet.Of course,I had to activate my account to get the internet going online.After the activation was done,I did my personal PC work and proceeded to get on with the rest of the day after getting dressed.
Today was a cold,wet and rainy day.I had only a few things that needed to get done.I dropped off a copy of the local free newspaper at a few friends of mine in the area,which is what I do every Tuesday.After doing that,I headed over to a local Dollar Tree store to pick up a small pouch of coffee.After paying for that,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I relaxed and popped a DVD into the DVD player.
After eating,I watched the evening news for a while and I did some more personal PC work.Overall,a pretty good day.
While my recovery continues onward,it is still a pretty rocky road.I am still dealing and struggling with the symptoms of BPD and the emotional roller coaster ride that goes with the territory of having BPD.I never know how my emotions will be from one day to the next,or at times,from one minute to the next.It is a never ending roller coaster ride.I also have schizophrenic tendencies and that makes my struggles with BPD even more difficult.Aside from the emotional roller coaster ride of BPD,I also have to put up with sounds and voices that nobody other then me hears.When the struggles gets almost too seemingly unbearable for me to handle,I am constantly relying on God and his son Jesus Christ more whenever the struggle is getting too difficult for me to handle.I simply talk about my struggles with God and his son Christ and after that,I feel a tad at ease.It is simply a matter of talking about everything with God in the name of his son Jesus Christ and after that,feeling a tad better.It shows that I am not alone in my struggle and that is good.Thanks to both God and his son Christ Jesus for everything that they do.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I gave into temptation in the wee early morning hours when I masturbated.I simply grabbed the erection that I had and I masturbated the erection away.After that happened,I felt really miserable and in my misery,asked God in the name of his son Jesus Christ too forgive me for sinning.After praying,I felt better and went back to sleep.But throughout the day,I was being tempted again and again to act out in many ways.I was tempted to masturbate and also,to grab my genitals for the purpose of getting them erect or at the point of orgasm and stopping and each and every time that it happened,I asked God to grant me strength to fight and resist the temptations.I simply threw the temptations on God and asked him in his son's Christ Jesus' name to help me fight and resist and after it was over,I felt better.Though I did sin today,I was forgiven and that shows that God hasn't given up nor will he ever give up on me.It is great to know that as I can have confidence that God hears and helps those who really need it.Thanks to God and Christ for everything.I also ask that everyone who follows my blog and read the posts to also continue praying for me and also,please leave and encouraging word or two for me as a comment.Thanks in advance for the prayers offered and for the encouraging words offered.Both are very much appreciated.
As for tomorrow,I have made no plans.But I am hoping that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes for the day ahead.FJ